problems communicating

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
problems communicating
2
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 2:34am
my bf constantly tells me that in every relationship there needs to be trust n communication, i agree. but for one he tells me he doesnt trust me n thinks i just flirt n he doesnt trust his guy friends (im strictly committed to him) thinking they will try to "get with me", n he wont communicate with me his problems. he only tells his one best friend kevin his problems n wont tell me, he wont open up to me about them. n we did want to start a future together but in order to do so we need to be honest with eachother but he is never honest about his financial situation with me, he always tells me "you dont know my financial situation so dont be b*tching at me for it, you dont know anything about it" but the problem is he wont open up n tell me. n every weekend he goes off with his best friend kevin n i dont hear from him. he did this last weekend, he left with his buddy friday n i heard from him sunday night n he told me "ive been doing this ever since we were together (we've been together for almost 8 months) , its routine you should expect this"...so im suppose to expect him running off every weekend without my knowledge of where he is? n not even get a phone call? thats not communicating in this relationship. we constantly fight, n tonight while we faught on the phone he through in my face how im boring n just want to stay at home every night. Now my bf knows i have mono n he just doesnt seem to care, he never asks how im doing or if im okay. the reason why i just want to stay home everynight is because im so weak n tierd n dont have any energy. n the reason why he took off again this weekend is because "i was with you every day of the week while we sat at home in the basement, your too boring"....this hurt me alot because he doesnt seem to understand how i feel n what im going through. we constantly fight about his financial situation, him running off with his buddy every weekend leaving me hanging, n him complaining how i just bitch and nag at him all the time. is it time to end the relationship, n end the stress?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 7:35am

PLEASE just type the word "and", your post was really difficult to read.

Yes it is time to leave. You're not compatible, you don't trust one another, you don't seem to enjoy one another's company very much, and he finds you boring. You need to find a guy who is interested in you for who you are. I know you want to start a future together, but based on what? Futures aren't made on love alone. You have to really LIKE the other person too, and I don't see anywhere in your post that you like one another.

He sounds like a jerk when he's angry, too. The words he uses while arguing are pretty harsh, I'm not sure what you say to him but if he is saying these things verbatim then he really doesn't sound like the kind of person you'd want to get into an argument with.

You deserve better. After eight months it should be clear whether or not your relationship is going to go far or not. This one isn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 3:51pm

Welcome to the board cutie_patutie54,


I do think it is time to end the relationship. Neither of you are happy and honestly he doesn't sound like he wants to be in a committed relationship at this point.

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