Problems for young lovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Problems for young lovers
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 5:37pm
Hi, Im 19 years old and ive been with the same person for 3 years. We have never really jumped into discussing the way that we feel about love and what the real expectations of a comminted relationship should be. Well I have been ill recently and he has been everywhere but supporting me. He agreed to take me to the doctor today and when we got back home, I finially asked him what was wrong. After some wheedeling He finially told me that I am too clingy when im sick and he doesnt want any one to depend on him for anything. That people should deal with their own problems, well being that we are in what I thought to be a commited relationship I believed that his problems were mine and mine were his. I believed we would handle life together. I know there are some things that a person has to do on their own. But he doesnt involve me in anything. He doesnt want anyone to depend on him and he doesnt want to depend on anyone. I was very hurt when he told me that he doesnt put me in any higher standing than his friends. I am just another friend. I am very confused. He told me he loves me very much and he wants to be with me for a long time and that i do make him happy. But I dont know if I can continue to be happy with someone that doesnt want me to depend on them or doesnt want to depend on me for some things. I believed that was what a commited relationship was finding a person to help you through life to give you support and love through lifes ups and downs. I am begining to wonder if he will be there when I need him.