Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Question
2
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 11:27am
how do you deal with your man being "better than you" ????????

I feel like compared to him - I'm nothing and couldn't ever be anything.

Like he's mr. perfect. and I'm so far from perfect it's not funny. How to I accept and deal with this situation?? Any advice is appreciated!

Thanks :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
In reply to: hazel636
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 12:41pm
If you're feeling this way because he implies this or tells you this, then you need to sit him down and let him know how his comments are affecting you.

But if this is just coming from you, and you just don't feel you measure up, even though he's never said he feels you don't, then maybe you should think long and hard about being in a relationship. If the problem is just your insecurity about not measuring up, maybe you should take some time alone to examine why you feel so bad about yourself and what you need to do to increase your self esteem. If you are insecure, nothing your man says or does can change that. If he compliments you, you won't believe it. And if you continue to say you're not good enough he may eventually start to believe it himself.

Most women I know who have felt this way never really took time to get to know themselves before jumping into serious relationships. They went from serious high school crushes to college relationships to full blown adult committments without once ever taking time to make sure they showed the same love they were giving these men to themselves. If this is your case, take some time to love yourself. Step back from relationships and take the time to learn what makes you special and unique and beautiful. And know that if he was attracted to you and chose to be with you, there's something he sees that makes you just as worthy of his love as he is of yours.

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hazel636
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 2:56pm
Sounds like a serious self-esteme issue to me. I'd talk to a professional to find out where this self-depreciation is coming from.