Question for married men
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Question for married men
| Tue, 06-19-2007 - 7:05pm |
I need pointers and advice! I have been married for about 3 years and it feels like when my husband and I argue (which is frequent) we end up shouting and insulting one another often escalating into WWIII. My husband seems to be the one who hurls out the insults more than me (commenting on my appearance, weight, how he is not happy, threatens to want a divorce) and afterwards I am often the one to try to patch things up with him. Often I just apologize just because I don't want to drag the fight out any longer but trying to cool things down can often take a long time (a few days sometimes for him to cool down) and he often pulls the silent treatment where he won't speak or talk to me for a few days even if I try to. He can nvever admit he is wrong or just apologize even to just try to create peace within this relationship. Recently our fights have become so explosive so fast that I am truly afraid of that we are heading towards divorce which he has threated many times he will do unless I change. I am currently 6 months pregnant and I don't want to have my child to witness these arguments and I don't want to continue this pattern for my own sanity. We went to a counsler a few times but he felt that is was a waste of time and money so we didn't continue. As a whole we really don't have any problems, we are financially secure, 2 professionals, healthy...it is just that we cannot communicate appropriately with one another so a little disagreement becomes a huge fight. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Welcome to the board willyod,
I'm wondering if changing counselors would help.
I've heard that threatening to leave is a form of control/abuse. Hurling insults regarding your appearance DEFINITELY is verbal abuse. As is the silent treatment (punishment, withholding affection).
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Best of luck to you.