question that might make you sick

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
question that might make you sick
8
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 10:45am
I know I have written in the past regarding my problems in my relationship but I guess the ending question of it all and I have really looked at my relationship alot lately and my the biggest question I have and see very much so is that How do yu tell your boyfriend that he needs to giruge out who is girlfriend is..his daughter or me. How do I ask him this or bring it to his attention that he acts like it is his girlfriend and not his daughter..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 11:01am

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 11:02am
sorry but what is giruge mean. Never heard of the word
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 11:06am
Can you rephrase "How do yu tell your boyfriend that he needs to giruge out who is girlfriend is..his daughter or me. "
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 11:06am

I quoted your post and asked you the same thing. Read your original post. Did you mistype 'figure'? You might want to use the spell check feature.


ANyway, here is another post you wrote that might help others


'How do you make someone happy that no matter how you try he always finds something to complain about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 11:15am
yes I did..it should be the word "figure" thanks and sorry...haha..
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 12:44pm

I'm not sure you can make him understand your point-of-view and/or get him to change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 1:36pm

well its pretty bad that he allows his daughter to control him like she does. Its like I am dealing with the exwife all over again but worse. He buys her treats, snacks and presents and such. She is 19 and he is 38. Yesterday his daughter even made it look like his own mother lied to him and he took his daughters side no matter what anyone said

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 1:47pm

This is a really sensitive and difficult question - but beyond that, if he acts as if his daughter is his girlfriend, and is attached to her in that way, the real question is, why are you there with him? He sounds as if he has deeper problems. Can he committ to you at all? Where is his basic loyalty and is he a healthy person? Take a larger look at the relationship and his behavior and see if this is a person with whom you can move forward and create a healthy foundation. If, indeed, he does treat his daughter as his girlfriend, this man needs therapy, he needs lots of work on himself to get free of that and understand what's truly going on. He would not only have to face the situation, take responsibility, but be willing to get professional help to change. I wonder if he is up to all that?


Decide what you want and need in a relationship and go forward to find it.


Best wishes,