realizing that I love my ex-boyfriend...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
realizing that I love my ex-boyfriend...
3
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:59pm

Hello,

I would appreciate some help and advice. Please bare with the "timeline". I had a relationship with a guy for about 3 yrs. I broke up with him almost 2 1/2 yrs ago. We remained friends up until a year ago. I met someone else and out of respect for my current boyfriend, I told my ex that I shouldn't talk to him anymore. It was a forced decision on my part.

I decided to break it off with my ex because I wanted to be free and independant (the usual). We were talking about marriage. I wanted to make sure that he was the one I should marry. He was my best friend. We could have talked on the phone for hours about nothing. He was respectful, kind, intelligent, and talented. My family even said that he was my soulmate. There was such a deep connection.

While we were friends, he got a new girlfriend. Ouch! Totally killed me. Then I met a new guy and told him. He couldn't take it. He also said that he doesn't love his new girlfriend as much as he loved me. (well he said this a year ago) So, now it's been over a year since I actually saw him. : ( My friend told me that he's living with his new girlfriend. double ouch. Although, he did email me while he was living with her. I haven't heard from him in about 4 months.

So, I am still with the new bo who is really sweet but I miss that certain connection with my ex. I know it's not fair at all to my current boyfriend. I feel like I made a big mistake on choosing who I date. I had such a wonderful friendship/relationship with a man and I totally blew it.

My question is does anyone ever feel like this? Is this just a faze? Is it possible to still get back with an ex? Should I contact him? I need to find out! Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks.

Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:02pm

Your ex is now in a serious relationship and is living with another woman. You can't expect anything good to come from a declaration of love. If you have read any of the posts about exes wreaking havoc and inflicting pain, then you'll understand what I mean.

Maybe you're just ambivalent about your current BF and are longing for something that no longer exists. It could just be a phase.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:29pm

This is simple; Don't contact your ex. He is in a serious relationship and you broke up for a reason that probably hasn't changed-you weren't ready for the total commitment.

Break up with your new guy because you don't love him. You don't have to be in a relationship with anyone right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 6:51pm
Thanks. I haven't read any other posts about exes. I just signed up for this. Where are they?
I guess since my ex and I are older now, I am going through the "what if's". I'm hoping that this is a huge phase. The feelings are strong at times. It's tempting to contact him. I feel like I need closure about the unknown. How do you overcome something like this?
Lucy