Really Confusing Situation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Really Confusing Situation!
1
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 11:12am
Hi,

Ok, I have a huge problem:

I was recently asked out by a gorgeous professional male dancer at a dance club. He is semi-famous and has been on tour for 2 years all over the world. He even has 2 amazing CDs out and gets paid for choreographing. He is on his way up in the business. All the girls at the club were extremely curious and jealous.

Its been a week since I met him and he calls a least once a day, asks me to go to his shows and is just so sweet. However, a couple things concern me: He has a 6yr old daughter who he can't see and he told me that he cheated on his ex wife because she kept accusing him of cheating on tour. We had sex the second time I saw him and after he said "if you were my wife you'd never have to work a single day in your life."

He is leaving in 3 months for Miami and asked me to go but I can't becasue I'm in school. With so many hot girls all over him at his performances I want to be able to trust him when he leaves. I don't want to turn him off by asking really personal questions so i there a way to find out if he is truly being sincere with me? or am I just one of his North American Girlfriend? This is so different because a lot of girls do call him and know him because he choreographs dance routines and instructs private classes. Oh geez, I don't know what to do.

He is 30 / 9 yrs older than me so I don't know if this would make him more mature or make me more naive. I really hope someone can help me here. Any advice at all would be appreciated!

Thank You!,

Patricia
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 1:59pm
Don't. No honest and caring guy would ask a young woman he barely knows to drop out of school and join him in Miami with promises of a future together (in which he, Mr. sugar daddy, would provide for you). He is playing with you, in a really nasty way, may I add, because he is jeopardizing you future for the sake of his own fun. he is taking advantage of your being young and inexperienced. He is 'razzle-dazzling" you with his fame and money. What a great way to establish a good relationship!

Ask yourself this: how can someone who barely knows you talk seriously about marriage? In particular, someone who has been divorced, and therefore should know better than throw himself into another marriage that may now work. If he were serious about you, he would take things slowly, maybe even suggest a long-distance relationship. The fact that he cannot see his child is another big fat red flag. What did he do to have his visitation rights denied? Or, maybe worse, did he just decide to give his daughter up?

My advice is: if you enjoy sex with him, and the brush with celebrity, go ahead and date him until it lasts. Keep your head where it belong, and if you feel you are falling for him just run away.

Meanwhile, don't forget to stay real: don't neglect schoolwork, and don't forget to go out with other guys, who may offer you a real relationship.

Just my 2 cents.