Rebuilding trust
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Rebuilding trust
| Thu, 05-31-2007 - 5:08pm |
How do you regain one's trust? If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it because I wonder if there are things I can try that I have not. Thanks.

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Off the top of my head...
For the person who has done wrong:
1.needs to be truly sorry for their actions and show this
2.have total transparency in their future actions
3.to have analysed WHY the error happened and put steps in place to prevent it happening again
For the person who was wronged:
they need to be prepared to put their heart on the line again. You see, if this person will not take the risk to trust again, then no actions of the part of their partner can encourage the trust to be rebuilt.
If he's not forgiving or trusting by nature, then nothing will work.
Though I've gotta say, why do you want a relationship with someone who isn't forgiving and trusting? They are two basic requirements for a good relationship.
It is going to be very hard to win his trust back if he is not willing to forgive you and make an effort to work past this. Both people have to be willing to work on the relationship in order to fix it.
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I know that I am fighting an uphill battle. My bf claims he wants to forgive me but he is unforgiving by nature, he feels that since I am one of the EXTREME few people in the world he trusted - I "backstabbed" him so how can he forgive that (he doesn't even trust his family - only me and maybe two friends), and he doesn't know how to forgive. I don't know how to explain it to him. As far as trust, I let him know my whereabouts (who I am with, what time i arrived somewhere, what time I am leaving somewhere - most of my free time out of work is with him anyway), he has access to my cell phone and an itemized bill each month, my e-mail accounts, etc....I have not kept any secrets from him - I am totally open but he claims "he never wanted this type of relationship". I have explained that hopefully he will come to be able to trust me again someday and this "checking" in can slowly stop.
Am I wasting my time? I love him, our two cats, our bestfriendship and the 10 plus years together.
I think this is a horrible, horrible idea.
Why do you want to be with someone like this?
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