Rejected?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
Rejected?
1
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:46pm
I've been with my guy for 6 years. and we've fooled around, yet its always on his terms when we fool around. No matter how hard i try to turn him on it won't work, i'll kiss his neck graze my hand aginst his member, even play with his member, and no matter how long i do this i get rejected. But as soon as i go with him upstairs with him to lay with him until he falls asleep, then he all of a sudden is horny and everything.
I guess i just wanted to know if i was doing anything wrong? Or is it just normal? and when he does start wanting to fool around he doesn't even bother to even try to turn me on. i just feel so sexually and emotionally drained from it. Everytime i try i just feel like i'm not good enough to turn him on or anything. is there anything i can do?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: kitty_kat847
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 8:51am

He is just very selfish and is thinking of himself and his own needs. He wants everything on his terms. This is not a mutual, loving, respecful situation, where both people's needs are considered. It is more as if you are being used to fulfill him when he wants. You need to let him know that you are not willing to be in a one way relationship. Either both of your needs are met in ways that are uplifting for you, or it's unhealthy.


If you feel so drained and upset, you must ask yourself why you are staying in the situation? The fact that he doesn't respond when you want him to, and doesn't seemed turned on by you has nothing at all to do with you. It doesn't mean you're not desirable. It simply means that this guy has a real problem giving to a woman, letting her feel good. It's all about him. He demeans women.


Either work it out so that it's mutual and feels good to both of you or move on.


Best wishes,