relationship advise
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relationship advise
| Wed, 09-29-2004 - 5:58pm |
I am new to the dating scene, having been married for ten years and recently seperated. I was not looking to get into another relationship; however, at a recent networking function for my job, met a guy that I was instantly attracted to. He is successful, very physically attractive and outgoing, three traits I am definately into. We met one night, went to lunch the next day and then met for drinks that same night. I learned he lives in another state and comes to town for business once a month. At the end of the night after meeting for drinks we shared a wonderful kiss. For a month after that night, we talked on the phone every day, learning as much about each other as possible. We were both amazed how much we have in common in regards to just about every aspect of our lives. He seemed to be perfect. Very sweet, flattering, he referred to me as beautiful in every message he left, and kept remarking how lucky he was that someone so beautiful would be interested in him. I have a son from my marriage and he seemed very interested in his life as well. He came to town a couple of weeks ago and was very excited to see me. In every conversation we had, either on the phone or in email, he spoke to me about how excited he was to see me again and further our relationship. To make a long story short, when he came to town again,over the week he was here, we ended up sleeping together and I spent one night with him. I do not take sex lightly, I did not intend to sleep with him, I have only slept with two other guys in my life, one being the guy I was married to for ten years. At the time, I reasoned with myself, that I had a definate attraction to him, we had really gotten to know each other over the phone and I definately wanted to see him again. After he went back home, he has been different, he does not call me on a daily basis anymore and seems to be more standoffish. We have had several conversations where he indicates he wants to see me again; however, I have the feeling I made a mistake sleeping with him. Where do I proceed. I am so new to the dating scene, and are not sure what to do. I am an extremely upfront person, so my first inclination is to call him and put everything out on the line to find out where we stand. However, after reading alot of advice columns, I am not sure this is the right thing to do. I don't want to scare him off. I can't help thinking, he was so nice to me only to get me to sleep with him. What should I do?

But let's say that is not the situation - let's say something else... you said you are separated - are you actually divorced? It could be that he doesn't want to start anything serious with you since you aren't legally single yet and since you are still "new" to the dating scene, he may also think you aren't ready for a commitment.
OR
He could have rethought the whole long distance thing and decided he could not do it...
I would just talk to him and find out what happened
If you're not looking for a r'ship anyway, though, why is that a problem? You need to decide what YOU want and act accordingly. If the occasional get together and sleep over with this guy isn't what you want, then it's best to cut things off and chalk it up to experience.
Sheri