Relationship counselor b4 marriage OK?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Relationship counselor b4 marriage OK?
3
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 10:52am
If you are in a good relationship with problems that keep resurfacing and the two of you can't seem to work them out on your own---would you consult a couples therapist or relationship counselor before marriage? Many that I have talked to have indicated that if you have troubles enough that you are seeking therapy services during a dating relationship (we have been together over 2 years now), that you should just break the relationship off....Problem is...I'm not so sure I agree. Both parties are willing to go. Am I letting other people's pessimism influence?

How do you feel about counseling before marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 11:57am

We as people, tend to be a "throw away society"...when the slightest thing seems difficult, we throw it away in search of something more convenient.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:31pm
Definitely try the counseling route - premartial counseling can really help solidify a relationship, deal with the issues and if nothing else you learn something about yourself, the other person and the way you interact.

My cousin was living with a woman, she lost her son in a car accident (he was with his father on vacation), while she was in grief therapy, it came up that my cousin didn't express his love verbally to her and it was something she needed to here. Even after therapy he wasn't willing to meet this need. She asked him to move out. He did, but they remained friendly as they really did love each other. I think she went on one date some time later and he couldn't handle it. He booked a vacation, got permission from her work for her to be gone, bought a ring, took her on vacation and proposed. They went back to counseling. It's been a few years later, a new house, and two kids, and they are very happy.

When a specific problem keeps resurfacing, it needs to be dealt with, if you walk away, I believe it will come up again somehow in your future. Take care of it. It will help you each see the other's perspective and hopefully bring it to resolution and give you some insight to overcome smaller issues in the future.


Carrie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 2:02pm
I am all for it! I find the attitude you are encountering not comprehensible at all.

Sheri