Relationship Crises please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Relationship Crises please help!
1
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 8:16pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 8 months. I love him very much and I know he loves me too but lately it seems like he's been slowly pulling away from me. We don't live in the same city so we don't see each other much, but he's in town every weekend, and before he tried to see me as much as possible but now it seems like he doens't care whether he sees me or not. We don't talk as much anymore either. It seems like it's just a matter of time before we break up, and that's the last thing i want to do. I can't see myself being happy without being with him, but I don't know what else to do. At first i though maybe he's talking to another female, but I know he wouldn't do that to me. I feel so clueless in the whole situation, he know's how I feel but he hasn't really said anything to me about why he's been acting the way he is. If anyone has any advice for me all the help is appreciated. Thanks

sweethoney
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 8:35pm
this is one of the most common issues women seek advice for on this board, and it is true. men would do that, and it is very common. they will pull away, get closer, and most of the times they are not even sure what they want (when they are pulling away). well, unfortunately i made the mistake of chasing my boyfriend, pushing him and asking him for a reason why he is pulling away, trying to pull him closer to me... but it doesn't work like that. i started realizing (after reading some book) that this is how most men operate. they just need their space sometimes. the best way to handle is, tell him how you feel, and then let him be. leave him alone and let him come to his own senses, while you should enjoy yourself by reading a book, going to the movies, hang out with friends... etc. my boyfriend and i have been through a lot. the first time he needed space i freaked out, thought this is the end. but a lot of times it's just a cycle. the next time it happened i handled it better, and i think you gain more experience as time goes on. anyway, good luck! just don't stress yourself and him. do something outside of him.