Relationship Crisis...Please Help!
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Relationship Crisis...Please Help!
| Sun, 01-20-2008 - 4:36pm |
Hi Everyone
My name is Meghan, I'm 22 years old and I have been in a relationship with an older man for almost a year (in March).

Hon, I hope you will read your post again and look at all of the warning signs this guy is showing you to get out now.
He tries to buy your affection
He waits for you all day
He's older than you (how much older? Consider that his maturity level may be a lot lower than women near his age)
He wants you to depend on him
He pushes you to do things that make you uncomfortable sexually
He uses his material generosity as a bargaining chip to ask you for things in return (those aren't "gifts" he's giving you, not when they have strings attached)
He won't give you the emotional space you need
He responds with anger and nastiness when he doesn't get what he wants all of the time
The ONE thing about him - that he is a gentleman - isn't even a true quality of his. He treats you the way he does in order to control you.
You have an abusive past... I think you need to look at your own history and start realizing that this is quickly heading down the same path. Only you can save yourself from an abusive cycle, megn85. Good luck...
I totally agree with Eggbert, and would also like to point out a few more things.
1. This man has several (at least two) transplanted organs. That suggests that he may have other health problems he hasn't shared with you yet. Although there is nothing wrong with loving and building a future with a man who is having or has had severe health challenges, you have a right to visit with his doctor to discuss his condition before making a commitment. You are only 22, and your youth is a gift you will never get back. You are under no obligation to spend it nursing an aging man with health problems.
2. He has told you at least one lie: Prednisone does not cause hormone levels to skyrocket. If anything, it diminishes libido. I looked on numerous sites, and found NONE that mentioned elevated sex drive. This means that he is demanding phone sex because he LIKES IT, and he doesn't care that it makes you uncomfortable. If he is lying about one thing for his own gain (to keep you on the hook, cranking out the phone sex), he may be lying about others. You have no idea whether he has painted his apartment or not, for example.
3. DO NOT make a naughty video for him unless you want casual acquaintances to say, "Saw you on the Internet last night." Everything you are telling us about this man is saying controlling, obsessive, and potentially abusive. Please use this time of introspection to focus yourself toward a bright future, not one with this unpleasant, demanding man.