rjedad, you're making the huge (and very common) mistake of Emotional Infancy. It's the "I WANT it!" attitude that makes you feel entitled to something just because you desire it. I won't berate you for this because we've all been there, but you do have to start understanding that just because you have feelings for her and want a relationship back does not: a) Entitle you to a relationship with her, or b) Make the relationship a good one.
rjedad... She has already moved on from you. One year into a relationship is a huge "make or break" period when you either decide together that this is something you really want to move forward with, and if this happens it will be obvious - you cannot make this decision unilaterally.
Take a look at these points of view and tell me if you think they add up to a good, mutual relationship:
YOU: I very much desire to have that relationship back. I do however feel VERY much in Love with her She knows I love her deeply and unconditionally. I can see how with some real work and communication we are excellent for each other.
HER: she has lied / hid some things from me she has detached she says "I do not know, right now I do not want a relationship with anyone". she has, at the very least, a male friend that she is emotionally attracted to She says she does not want a relationship right now.
You two have such different opinions on this relationship, I'm amazed you're not seeing the writing on the wall. She doesn't want a relationship with you, she's moving on to other people, she's a liar, and she is not as interested in making this relationship work as you are. Time for you to let go, as she's already gone. I'm sorry. This relationship was not a great one from the start anyway - lying and deceit instantly sour the pot, and especially after only a year, a relationship shouldn't feel very difficult if it's a good one. Best of luck to you.
Couples occasionally find one another again after some time has passed, they have moved on emotionally and they are in different stages of their lives.
A relationship by nature isn't "doomed" if it eventually works out for the best - however you're talking about "saving" a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Two people both wanting to make a relationship work is the very foundation of a functional relationship; if you don't have that then you don't have anything. There's no way to permanently persuade someone to want to be in a relationship with you. She either does or she doesn't, and she's said that she doesn't. I know how tough it is to see how easily a relationship could work and yet the other person just doesn't pull through. So honestly I am really sorry.
Yes, I guess at this point this is what I am hoping for, I will be relocating and starting a new career.
I will be moving forward and if it is meant to be, and enough time passes and circumstances in each of our lives changes, who knows we may find each other again.
But as each day passes I am moving forward, that is certain.
rjedad, you're making the huge (and very common) mistake of Emotional Infancy. It's the "I WANT it!" attitude that makes you feel entitled to something just because you desire it. I won't berate you for this because we've all been there, but you do have to start understanding that just because you have feelings for her and want a relationship back does not:
a) Entitle you to a relationship with her, or
b) Make the relationship a good one.
rjedad... She has already moved on from you. One year into a relationship is a huge "make or break" period when you either decide together that this is something you really want to move forward with, and if this happens it will be obvious - you cannot make this decision unilaterally.
Take a look at these points of view and tell me if you think they add up to a good, mutual relationship:
YOU:
I very much desire to have that relationship back.
I do however feel VERY much in Love with her
She knows I love her deeply and unconditionally.
I can see how with some real work and communication we are excellent for each other.
HER:
she has lied / hid some things from me
she has detached
she says "I do not know, right now I do not want a relationship with anyone".
she has, at the very least, a male friend that she is emotionally attracted to
She says she does not want a relationship right now.
You two have such different opinions on this relationship, I'm amazed you're not seeing the writing on the wall. She doesn't want a relationship with you, she's moving on to other people, she's a liar, and she is not as interested in making this relationship work as you are. Time for you to let go, as she's already gone. I'm sorry. This relationship was not a great one from the start anyway - lying and deceit instantly sour the pot, and especially after only a year, a relationship shouldn't feel very difficult if it's a good one. Best of luck to you.
Thank You for your straight and direct answer,
Couples occasionally find one another again after some time has passed, they have moved on emotionally and they are in different stages of their lives.
A relationship by nature isn't "doomed" if it eventually works out for the best - however you're talking about "saving" a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Two people both wanting to make a relationship work is the very foundation of a functional relationship; if you don't have that then you don't have anything. There's no way to permanently persuade someone to want to be in a relationship with you. She either does or she doesn't, and she's said that she doesn't. I know how tough it is to see how easily a relationship could work and yet the other person just doesn't pull through. So honestly I am really sorry.
Thank you,
Yes, I guess at this point this is what I am hoping for, I will be relocating and starting a new career.
I will be moving forward and if it is meant to be, and enough time passes and circumstances in each of our lives changes, who knows we may find each other again.
But as each day passes I am moving forward, that is certain.