Relationship Questions
Find a Conversation
Relationship Questions
| Wed, 06-25-2008 - 2:14pm |
Hi there. I'm in a fairly new relationship & things seem to be moving really slowly. We have been together almost 3 months & we both really care about each other but haven't fallen in love yet. In the past, things have always moved more quickly for me. Is it normal for things to move this slowly? I think it may be due to our communication problems. I am having a hard time opening up to him. Any suggestions on how to improve our communication problems? Neither one of us is ready to throw in the towel. We really want to make things work but are having a hard time connecting on the communication level. Thanks!

Welcome to the board jmurphy41,
3 months into
glitter-graphics.com
I've been cheated on & betrayed alot in the past & it's hard to open up to someone new. He feels like I'm still a mystery to him & I haven't really expressed my emotions to him. We both have not gotten completely comfortable with each other yet either. Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. I'm just used to things moving so much faster in the past...but maybe that why things have never worked out. Any suggestions on how to become more comfortable with each other? Or how I can be more comfortable opening up to him? Thank you.
Can you elaborate as to the type of communication problems you are having?
Welcome to the board jmurphy41,
Sorry to say, but if you are or have been unwilling to move through your trust issues from past relationship, then you really aren't ready to be in a relationship.
I think you were expecting too much too soon and that moving so quickly
glitter-graphics.com
Has he opened up to you?
Hi. I am sorry you are going through this right now.
I can relate to you in my current relationship because I dated my now-boyfriend about four years ago and it ended because we NEVER talked about where we were, what we were, and what we wanted and he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship. Now, for the last year we have started to date again and we have gone VERY slow. It took me a while to get comfortable and "open my heart up" to him again. I had to tell myself, would you be happier with or without him? I had all this baggage from my previous relationship, and I had to ask myself some big questions. I wanted to find someone that I clicked with and connected with, I wanted to fall in love again. He is the someone and I had to tell myself to take that leap because I knew if I didn't, I would wonder, for the rest of my life, what if?????
It sounds like you two are really good for each other right now. Has he given you any reason to not open that door to your heart a little?? You didn't mention anything negative, so I think what you should do is sit down with him and pick something that you are afraid to tell him and talk about and say, "I just want you to know I have enjoyed our time together immensley, but I just want to tell you that I am a little scared to open up. I want so much for us to talk and communicate, and I am a little afraid". From your post, again you didn't mention anything negative, he will probably really value the fact that you told him that and it will bring you guys close and make you more comfortable with each other.
It took me about 10 months to have this conversation with my bf, but he replied with nothing but support and love and made me feel more comfortable to talk to him. Start out with something small. It will really put foundation and spice in your relationship, I promise. (unless he is not a guy that cares...but I don't think that is the case)
I hope this helps. It is such a hard thing for me
"Seek to understand and you will be understood"