Is relationship worth saving? Pls help.
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 2:29pm |
To give you a brief background, my ex-husband (EH) and I split up about 2 years ago. Our divorce was final last year. I was the one who left. I have never felt such intense love as with him. He was my entire world. The highs were the highest but the lows were also the lowest...not sure how to explain. Trust was also a factor. Part of it was my insecurity and part of it was that (I didn't feel) he didn't draw the boundaries with girls i.e. flirted too much. I also didn't set boundaries with him so felt as though he continously overstepped them i.e. was too controlling & at times manipulative. For some one who has everything going for him i.e. charming, good looking, great job, ivy league education...he was probably one of the most insecure people I ever met. On top of it my friends & family did not like him at all and I had to listen to that all the time which didn't help matters :( So to make a long story short one day I left...there was a HUGE drama which is way too long to get into it, but includes phone calls CONSTANTLY...threats...calling all my friends & trying to turn them against me..
I then ended up dating his best friend...I know what you are thinking...I had gotten to know him over the years and he was really there for me at the time and seemed to really understand me and what I needed. In retrospect, though he is a good person, it was a rebound for me and easier than dealing with my own issues and being alone..He turned out to be a psycho as well and I ended the relationship (which was long distance) several months back.
So a couple of months ago I broke down and called my EH (we had been e-mailing each other now and then over the years) and he called me back which really surprised at the time. We started talking (we had never had any sort of closure and he also knows that I had been with his BF)...I went to see him (he's now on the east coast & I am on the west) and now we are back together!! I really don't even know how we got here. We just can't seem to stay away from each other. We are trying to work things out...and there are a lot of things to work out. He obviously has a very hard time with the fact that I was with his BF and I have issues with him from our past...all I know is that when I am in his arms everything else disappears. The other very hard thing is that my parents literally hate him because of everything that happened :(
My question is, when do you decide that yes this relationship is worth saving and work things out and when do you decide/know that this relationship has no chance and to give up?? If we can move on from this, how do we even go about it?
A lot of questions I know and hard to go into all the details but any advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening :)

Thanks again :)