Rock Bottom
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Rock Bottom
| Wed, 02-27-2008 - 11:17am |
I have come to the conclusion that maybe I need to break up with my boyfriend. I know I need to. I know it. But, everytime I convince myself to do it, I start making up excuses. I love him very much. We have been dating for a year and I live with him. Just the thought of moving out of a house that we have worked on together and I have decorated and that I feel like is home and having to find my own place just makes me sick. I just can't take it anymore. I'm mentally exhausted. No matter how much I think he's over it, it comes right back. He constantly has a problem of accusing me of cheating or having intentions of cheating. I'm just so sick of it. I would do anything for this man. We have talked about marriage. And it makes me so mad that he is screwing up our relationship over something that is not even happening! I'm so good to him. I'm not interested in any other guy in the slightest. But yet, everytime I do something its...where did you go..what did you do...why did you that..something's fishy...who did you see...blah blah blah. His famous line is "Trust is earned" and no matter what I do I can't convince him otherwise. I don't feel like you should come into a relationship with that mindset and he does.

Until he realizes that he has a real problem and he is ready to get to the root of it and make a change, like therapy, you can not have a healthy relationship. You can not continue to do this to yourself.
Once you leave and get your own place, you will probably feel such a relief. You can love someone and not be able to have a relationship with him.
Welcome to the board jennilee06,
Um...are you dating my ex?
glitter-graphics.com
Welcome to the board jennilee06,
When you've had enough, you will walk away.
Sadly enough, it sounds as though your boyfriend has "paranoia". This is a serious mental illness where an individual suspects others of cheating, lying, or many other scenarios. When there is an attack of it, the individual breaks with reality, so no matter what you do or say, you'll never make a dent. Unless he recognizes that he is ill and seeks professional treatment, therapy with a well trained professional, this will just go on and on. It's unhealthy for you to have to be subject to this, and the situation can certainly also escalate with him believing all kinds of things that have no truth and making you pay for them.
As I said, unless he's willing to recognize that he has a real problem and go for real help, there's no choice but to leave.
Best wishes,