a rough three years
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a rough three years
| Mon, 01-14-2013 - 3:41pm |
I have been involved with a man for three years we have had quite a bumpy road, this man I feel that I am seeing is very verbally abusive, we had a conversation the other night and he said I walk all over him when he is talking, the way I avoid confrontation is I hang up on him, this may be childlike but this is the way I deal with him. He left me a message on my voicemail which was extremely vulgar and told me I was the C word. What should I do get away from him or hang in there. He has not had a relationship with his family for over six years. (what should I do with this relationship?)
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It sounds like neither side can communicate well. That alone is a big red flag. Is he abusive? Are you abusive? It sounds as it a translator is necessary. If there is no communication or poor communications the relationship will be frustration itself. You cannot change him but you can change yourself. Just hanging up does not sound like an adult. It could very well be that there is a underlying incompatibility too. And what does his relationship with his family have to do with anything?
Katy,
If feel you are in danger, please seek help immediately by calling 911, your local authorities, or the Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE . Please also check out our Crisis Information & Community Website.
when was the first time he was abusive to you? What did you think after that happened?
Do you walk over him when he's talking or hang up to avoid confrontation mainly because you're trying to avoid confrontation? I see nothing wrong in attempting to avert an unnecessary hysterical tantrum he's about to throw.
I'm stunned that after him calling you the C word, that you would actually ask if you should hang in there.
What should you do with this relationship? Leave it. Staying isn't going to mend his blown up bridge back to his family--that is something he's going to have to build on his own without your help.
You get away from him by not seeing him anymore. First, get all of your belongings out of his house that have any value to you. Give him back whatever he's got at your house. Block his phone number; block his emails. Do not entertain any pleas from him to give him a second chance. If you are such a C word to him, then might as well act the part and show him that he's right on that count when it comes to you and the preservation of your esteem. Someone has to stand sentry to it and it might as well be you.
Why would you even stay with someone who calls you vulgar names and is abusive? The fact that he has no relationships with his family members should put up a red flag too. Why do you think that is? Could it be that he's also been vulgar and abusive to them?
I agree--why would you continue to subject yourself to this?