the same problem over and over

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2008
the same problem over and over
20
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 11:38pm
there is a problem my bf and

Pages

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 8:43pm

All relationships are built upon trust. If you cannot trust him,you have a real problem. He may feel funny having his girlfriend meet people at work if that is not done in that office. He may feel as though you are acting like his mom, wanting to check out everything in his life.


What difference does it make if you meet her? She's part of his work life and he'll be working with her everyday anyway. Do you want to make sure she knows he has a girlfriend? That indicates that you cannot trust him sufficiently.


What's important here is to find out why you have this trouble trusting him? Is it the situation or is it some insecurity inside of you? Build up your own self esteem and feels of worth, know that you are valuable and then you will not feel so threatened by other aspects of his life.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 9:45pm
I didn't see any indication that he mentioned it more than once... She said that SHE starts the argument once a month
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 11:47pm

In message #5 she wrote:


"he alwasy likes to tell me how girls flirts with him or how the girl talks to him."


That sounds like more than once to me.





angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 7:07am
Ok I missed that message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 11:15am

SwissMiss, my opinion is in the minority here but here goes:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2008
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 11:29am

so i ask my bf if he ever tell her to stop flirting with him he says he doesnt flirt! what he does is not flirting. and i can understand partially because i know the type of guy he is, he plays and jokes around with everyone. Some might think he is flirting but hes not. and so he said "yo you gotta stop" to her just a few months ago when the argument got serious. he been working there for over a yr now and he only told her a few months ago?? i mean so all those time he supposly play around and joke around with her and even thou she knows he have a gf.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 12:32pm

Playing and joking around is not really flirting.

I wonder if you really trust this guy or not? That will determine your answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 9:53pm
Yes you should just let it go and not think more about it or you'll just push him away more, possibly into her arms. You need to trust him, as everyone has pointed out. Until the time comes when you have some concrete evidence that he is unfaithful, you need to just relax.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 9:01am
The bigger issue is why is he such a jack@$$?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 11:04am

While I think this situation would be completely different had you found out about the girl that flirts on your own time, he told you, and I think that was rotten on his part. He deliberately wanted to make you feel insecure for some reason, which women have a hard enough time with these days!


Id pull some well deserved reverse phsycology on him and for starters act like you could give a crap less about this office skank, and start having a little side entertainment of your own. Id be sure to let him know of every wink, every stare, and every man that gives you the slightest nod your way from now on.


Pages