Scared & freaking out...I think
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Scared & freaking out...I think
| Fri, 02-20-2004 - 2:52am |
Although my boyfriend and I have only been dating six months we have known each other casually for several years. Now we are in a serious relationship. I have let him come to me every time he wants to make our relationship more serious. I never wanted him to feel as though I pushed him into anything that he didn't want. Anyway, the pattern I've noticed is that every time we get "too close" or our relationship takes on a more serious level he freaks out and picks fights with me. Most recently he asked me to move in with him, but now he is acting weird and picking fights again. I know that his work has been stressful, he is in the process of buying his first house, but I also think he is scared to live with me. Remember this was his idea, it took me off guard, I never even hinted about living together. I know he loves me, but it's like he has this internal battle inside about our relationship, he wants to go to the next level, but then I don't know what is holding him back. Why tell me something unless you are ok with it in your mind...meaning you've worked out any apprehensions about it, whether it's moving in together, becoming exclusive, buying me a promise ring, I just don't get it? I just ride things out, but is there anything I can do to make the process faster?? Will this ever go away or if I marry him is this something I'll have to deal with for the rest of our lives? Any insight would be great-thanks

Would he be willing to go to counseling with you to work through this?
You shouldn't be walking on eggshells all of the time wondering when he is going to freak out next. And I wouldn't assume this will stop once you two get married. He might pick fights forever or feel that you trapped him or freak out about having kids, etc.