Second Anniversary, fizzling marriage
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Second Anniversary, fizzling marriage
| Sat, 09-04-2004 - 11:20am |
My second anniversary is coming up in less than two weeks. I love my husband very much and he does love me. But I think he is completely bored with me. He seems to blossom up in group settings of mixed groups or his buddies. We've had some changes lately. I went from second shift to 8-5pm, whereas he is still working till 10:30pm. I am near falling asleep when he gets home. I have switched to a more stressful job. My boss, the president of the corporation, was terminated. I have a new boss; he may or may not bring in his own assistant. So my job may be in jeopardy. We just bought a house; we're tight on money. He is changing jobs, too. But I like to communicate and he doesn't like to beat a dead horse over what is stressful: money and job, same old stuff. We decided to quit going out so much (my suggestion, he agreed) so we'd be less strapped on cash. He agrees he has taken me for granted, but doesn't mean to. I try to come up with FREE fun ideas: having candlelit dinner waiting for him when he comes home, with soft music in background; body massage after he worked all day. But if he can't go out (which we have both agreed to minimize) and party, he'd rather watch TV or play video games on computer. Not much opportunity for communicating what's going on. I just want to cry. It's hard to admit I am boring to him, but it's not a lack for trying. He isn't interested in my ideas. This is his longest relationship and he is 34. (We've been together for 6.5years.) Any suggestions? I could use them. Thanks.

Idea: have friends over to watch a movie, rent one, watch tv, have a potluck with other couples, join a walking, biking riding, etc group, something you already have equipment for, or budget money for entertainment and stick to the budget. If he's not willing to try these things, it may be time to walk away from the relationship as it doesn't sound like he's interested in understanding who he is.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
I'm a person who when I am around other people, I come alive. When I am at home, I'm quiet and go about doing things in a quiet way. He may be like that.
He sounds very comfortable. I'm sure he doesn't find you boring.
Enjoy yourself on your anniversary!