Secretly taking viagra

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Secretly taking viagra
2
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 2:42pm
I have been in a serious relationship for six months. We are in love with each other and are graduating from graduate school this month. I have an job opportunity across the country and she has decided that she will follow me out there. I have always had issues with sustaining erections and started have been taking viagra secretly to avoid the shame that I have felt in the past and also to be able to please the woman I am with. This dysfunction is the result of years of single life(masturbation) and not because I am gay. I love woman, especially this one. I have not always taken the viagra but have used it on 50% of the occasions when we've had sex. I have not told her about this. However, this move and her commitment to me has caused me to feel guilty about not telling her. I have erected different reasons at different times why not to tell her. Most importantly, I believe a sustained relationship will help me not to take viagra anymore. I feel that if I tell her, our relationship will end. Since I am moving across the country she will not want to take that chance with this new variable. I feel that I am wrong but don't want to lose her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2000
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 1:11pm
Personally, I believe you should tell her BEFORE the move. She deserves to make her life choices based on accurate and honest information. Sooner or later she is going to find out the "secret". Get this out on the table now. If it really is a relationship-ending "variable", this is the time to find out.

JMHO....Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 1:51pm
I think that you should tell her now. I personally don't believe that this will end your relationship with her. I hate to say this but if she leaves because of *THIS* she probabaly wasn't right for you in the long run anyway. If it were me and my guy were taking Viagra...for whatever reason-well 1st I would be concerend about his health, I would want to know that he is healthy and not ill (so that I could offer support if he is ill-not to leave him for it) and once he assured me with a smile that he is healthy then I would thank him for taking it. To me it would be an act so that he could help satisfy me as well as himself. If you think it may be a big issue with her then I would also tell her that you've only taken it 1/2 the times you've been together and that you don't think you will have to take it forever and why. If she is following you across the country she must love you and want to make it work no matter what. I think this is a small issue but if you *hide* it from her and she finds out some other way it could become a bigger one. Not that you're taking Viagra but that you're hiding the fact you're taking ANY medication. If it were blood pressure or cholesterol or pain medication, would you hide that? I hope this helps and I hope you tell her soon. Just remember, if she leaves you over this small deal then she wasn't right for you anyway and it's best for you both if you find out before you move across country together. Best wishes...