Selfish vs. Sensitive

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2008
Selfish vs. Sensitive
11
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 12:29am


Hello everyone!
I am just looking for some advice/insight on my relationship of over a year.
I love my boyfriend very much and we will be living together soon. The issue is that he is pretty selfish and I am really sensitive. Not very compatible haha.
We love eachother, he just doesn't show it like I want him to, he is brutally honest, and does whatever he wants/doesnt seem to be thinking about me much.
But then again i am the type of person who takes things personally and is very sensitive to things he says.
The question is: How do we live in harmony?
What do we both need to change? and how can I not be so sensitive?

Thank you! I think these message boards are great!

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 6:43pm

There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. In a healthy relationship both partners need to take each other's needs into account. Otherwise, it's not a relationship it's a domination system. You have a right to express your needs and wants and if he is unwilling to listen, to meet them or to respect what's important to you, then he is not the person for you. Good relationship material means being with someone who wants to be in a connected relationship, not someone who wants to use the other to meet their needs. Be aware and clear about what's truly going on. It will save you a lot of heartache in the long run.


Best wishes,

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