Serious advice needed, please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Serious advice needed, please...
7
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 4:53pm

I've been married nearly 25 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 5:08pm

Welcome to the board ragilead,


It it not right at all for him to have purchased a house without with your knowledge. It doesn't matter if it was with "his money" or not. You don't keep things like this from your spouse.


My dh and I have seperate accounts right now. When we move into our new house we are going to have a joint account for all household expenses that we both contribute the same amount of money to, and we

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 1:12am

Welcome to the board ragilead,


I'm bumping your post to the top in hopes that Dr. Shoshanna will see it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:56am

Thank you.


I've asked him to go to counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 11:18am

I think you need to consult a financial advisor or cpa or lawyer to find out exactly what your rights are.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 12:38pm

For some reason I was thinking about you this morning, unfortunately, nothing good....


::My husband says he will fix up the house and live in it if he we don't resolve our difficutlies.


He already has an escape plan. He's already bought a place to move to, that in my opinion is not a good sign.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:27pm
GET A LAWYER....NOW!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 9:17pm

I think your husband is on his way out the door now. My SO also purchased & furnished a house prior to leaving his ex-wife. While it sounds the same there are a couple of difference. She did/does not work outside the home so he is the sole provider of financial support. He knew he was leaving the marriage, it was really a matter of timing and him being able to tell her. (They were married 17 years). They are still in the process of divorce, he's been out of the home for over a year and states the marriage was dead at least 3-4 years prior, to the point of separate bedrooms.

She does not want to get a divorce mainly because she wants him to continue to support her financially. At this point he is doing just that, makes the house payment, pays all the household expenses, and provides her with sufficient cash to take care of their needs. In the last couple of months he has been cutting back somewhat on the amount of money he gives her because he wants her to be able to stand on her own. He is not being a bad guy here. He wants to give her the house (which is almost paid for), her car and provide a generous amount of child support for the three kids (the amount will be between $2000-$2500 a month). He will continue to provide health insurance and such for the kids but he doesn't want to support the ex forever. She has an advanced degree so finding work should not be much of a problem.

If I were you, like other posters said, consult an attorney and be pro-active in this.

LG