SERIOUS husband woes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
SERIOUS husband woes
11
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 9:37am

Hi folks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 11:12am

Welcome to the board hillaryz,


My advice and you may not like it is to kick him out of the house and not let him return until he has a job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 11:22am

HI there hillaryz,


There's not much you can do here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 12:45pm

Hi,

I'm really sorry about your situation. I'm also sorry to have to agree with the other two. Your options are very very limited. Unfortunately you have too much to be responsible for now than to sit around wasting your time with a boy who is resentful and spiteful and unemployed.

This is not the kind of man who becomes a good father.

You ultimately took him back because "he apologized", and now this is what you're left with.

I can't imagine having to live your entire life in this way. 32 is quite young to be looking forward to the rest of your life with a deadbeat who doesn't want a family with you. That could be well over fifty years.

It's sad but your own well-being is incredibly important especially now. Looking after yourself is going to have to mean distancing yourself from this poison in your life, I wish there were another way but think of what environment your twins are going to grow up in. You have the choice between offering them a loving home and what you're in now.

Best of luck to you. It doesn't get much harder than this and I truly empathize for you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 1:49pm

the way i see it, he has two options.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 2:45pm

If you think it's hard now, imagine how it will be after your child is born. You will be taking care of baby, house, working outside the home full time, and he'll still be lying around getting stoned and being depressed. You won't even be able to have him provide the child care while you work because he resents and doesn't want the chiild.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Sat, 04-12-2008 - 3:51pm
I know what you're going through is tough, and despite what your husband feels towards your child no matter the outcome he will always be the father. There is no choice in the matter, and should you choose to kick him out again I'd let him know full well the consequence of never knowing his child. I know it is hard but you must consider your child now-
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 04-13-2008 - 7:19am

Thanks everyone for your comments and advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 04-13-2008 - 12:38pm

The fact is that you married a man (or a boy) who wasn't very responsible. There were red flags about him as a man and a future husband. Now he is still the same person and doesn't want to change. You are doing the right thing by putting your foot down. You need to do what is best for the child.


Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Sun, 04-13-2008 - 9:26pm

Hillary,


Read your post as if another woman wrote it.

- Lovely Goddess

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 5:00am

I didn't take the time to read all of the responses - especially after

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