Seriously Unhappy
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Seriously Unhappy
| Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:05pm |
My husband and I got married only 3 months ago and divorce already seems like an option for us. We are under a lot of stress each dealing with seperate custody issues with our ex's, so this is not helping. I have since gotten on medication to help with depression. I can say that it has helped a lot and given me more patience with my husband. He refuses to see that he needs help too. He gets so angry all the time. Just flies off the handle about the dumbest things. I find myself looking at him with this blank stare thinking to myself "is he seriosly getting this mad over hamburger buns"? Like something out of a movie. For the record, his dad is just like this and was put on medication for his anger, but surprise, surprise, he refuses to take it. This is only part one of our problems. The other thing is our sex life, or lack there of. I have absolutely zero desire to have sex. None. I don't know what the problem is. The medcation? Stress? The fact that he's being a jerk and only nice when he want's some? Hmmm, I think I just answered my own question. Anyway, I love my husband and want things to work out, but I just seem so dispensable to him. He's always right there to tell me that I'm free to leave if I don't like how he is. I don't understand. How can he treat me this way and love me at the same time. Please help.

Welcome to the board i_crystal22,
Try talking to him when he's calm. Take him for a walk away from the house....and ask him if he really means what he said about you being free to leave.
Welcome to the board i_crystal22,
It could be your medication that is causing your lack of interest in sex. Well, that and your husband's behavior. Talk to your doctor and see if that is one of that side effects. Ask your husband to go to marriage counseling with you or go by yourself. Would your husband be open to talking to someone about his anger issues?
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Cat
Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7
Were you depressed before you got married? How long were you two together before marrying??
Sexual desire often disappears when there are issues in a relationship and especially upset and unhappiness. Obviously your husband needs help with his anger problem and unless he is willing to face that he has a problem and deal with it, it will almost impossible to work issues through. Did all of this difficulty only just appear when you two got married? Did you have signs of it before? Clearly, it's really important that the two of you get to a good marriage counselor and give yourselves a chance to work things through. Professional help seems needed now.
If he is not willing to work on things at all, then get yourself a good therapist, so you'll have the clarity, strength and support in dealing with this painful situation and making healthy choices for yourself.
Best wishes,
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