She broke it off - she still calls !!
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| Wed, 06-16-2004 - 11:07am |
Split up with my girlfriend of 2 years in February. We've been On again/Off again till about a month ago, when she started calling less, coming around less, etc. She told me that it's really, really important to her to remain friends - she "see's me as someone who will be in her life forever." So do I. Now, we didn't really communicate too well in these last few months. But we DID sit down last Thursday and hash out everything that's been happening since the "break-up". She said that soon after the break, she thought she wanted to try to make things work again (she never told ME) and that's why we were on/off so much. Well, I told her that I feel strongly for her still and can't imagine her with someone else (even though she went on a date 2 weeks ago), so until I can get there, I will need time away from her. She said she understood. She also said that I was the best boyfreind she's ever had, and that she didn't really want us to plot out how much space we'd have right now - to "play it by ear". Hmmmm. We've got a few mutual things in each others apartments that we need to get to each other, so we know that we have to deal with that still. But here's the thing:
Thursday we met and talked till midnight. That's when I told her that if we aren't together, I need space to heal. She CALLS ME on Friday, just to say 'hi 'and to let me know what she's doing on Saturday. No contact Saturday, Sunday or Monday. But she apologises for NOT calling on Sunday. (???) Then she calls me yesterday to tell me she's going out of town on a business trip and doesn't know if her cell will work, and that she'll call me when she gets back into town. I though I made myself clear. I love her and want her back, but if SHE is following through with the split, I need some space. So here's my main question: What is illiciting this behavior? I mean, I love to hear her voice, but she KNOWS I'm still in pain and miss her. She claimed to understand what i was saying on Thursday. I just don't understand what she's doing.
Plus, I can't shake the picture of her at this convention in Vegas. She's incredibly attractive and gets hit on CONSTANTLY. It's painful, but I can't stop thinking about her surrounded by all these guys and wondering about her night life. I had nightmares of her talking and flirting with other guys. It's really bothering me, and I know she won't be back till Friday night. Any insight would be nice!! THANKS!!

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Pianoguy suggests that you keep your telephone conversations (with her) down to 60 seconds. Once the time is over, tell her that you've got to hang up because you've made other plans.
The more you do this...she'll eventually get the message that you've either found someone else...or that you aren't interested in "playing the friendship game" any longer.
Take the initiative...or you can expect this on-again/off-again pattern to continue. And either way...other men will still "hit" on her! GOOD LUCK!
Pianoguy
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