She can't trust me. I need help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
She can't trust me. I need help!
2
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 5:52pm

I hvae been dating this girl for over a year. She had a really bad past relationship with her ex-husband who is still in her life. He comes around to see her son but, due to domestic abuse his bi-polar actions she doesn't let him take her son. Only family suppervized visitation is allowed. Everything little I do is possible cheating senarios. I'm the most honest person. I have given her my passwords to myspace, my voice mail, everytime she calles i pick up and give reason to why and what I'm doing to let her know she can trust me. She still can't trust me tho! She says it's cuz of her bad past relationship of cheating and lieing from her ex-husband. She is affraid I might be another bad ex-husband. What can be done? I added an ex-girlfriend to my myspace accoutn since she wanted to see how I look like a year and half later. Plus the ex-girlfriend has always been nice to me so I didn't see the shame in it. My current g-f claims it means I'm talking to her and she can't take someone seriously if they do that. BUt, I never talked to her she sent me the friends request and told me why. I didn't even bother responding.

I have always been such a good guy to my g-f but at times she can be so harsh with me.

I'm to the point where I want to tell her take care of your issues cuz your lieing to yourself with me. It's driving me away from her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 6:18pm
You can give her all of your passwords until the cows come home but this is about her dysfunction, not your behavior. She has extremely low self esteem and extremely poor trust issues. You can't make her trust you. You can't control how she feels, thinks and acts. What you can do is figure out if this is the way you want to live-constantly having to defend yourself to someone who is irrational. Is she willing to go to therapy to work on her jealousy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 6:52pm
ITA!!! Your gf needs some individual therapy to work on these trust issues or she will never trust anyone. If she won't agree to individual therapy right off the bat, you could offer to go to couple's therapy with her to talk about your adding the xgf to your myspace account. Not that there is anything wrong with what you did since you weren't hiding it from her, but to get her into some kind of counseling.









Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

-shing xiong

Photobucket