She has asked for time

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
She has asked for time
2
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 11:51am
I love my girlfriend, and I want nothing more than for us to pull through this rough patch. At this point we're at now where she is seen other people and it hurts to know that she is with other men whom are after her.
So we agreed not have any contact or speak with each-other for an specific period of time, almost a month.
However, she has stated to me that she wanted to take some time to think about us or to think about what she really wants. She has mentioned that she is curious to know how is that i would feel or even if i would be interested in her.
Our relationship has not been in such good grounds for a while and of course all the anger and resentment has build up and this is why we are were we are because of it. I do not know what to expect at that day so... I guess I was just really wondering if there was anything that I could say or do to save the relationship and what should i do on that day? ANY advise is more than welcome. Thank you.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 5:47pm

She has taken some time and is dating and it sounds as though you need some time too. Clear you head of this situation. Give it time so you can get some distance and perspective on what has been going on. She wants to know if you'll still be intersted in her after time and after she dates? There's really no way to know. When that time comes, when that day comes, you'll know then. She wants to feel secure so that if one of these other relationships does not work out, she knows she won't lose you and can come back to you. But you can't give her that assurance. Right now you need to take care of yourself. You need to evaluate the entire situation and see if it is something that is truly healthy for you, or if you truly can take someone back after they've been dating others?


Let her know that she is taking time and you need time too, to figure things out and see how you feel as time goes on. There's no reason why you should be hanging, waiting for her, with her thinking you'll always be there for her, no matter what. It's unfair to you. Give yourself some freedom to find out what's really best for you in all ways.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:36pm

Thank you for response.

I might have left somethings out. The last time that I spoke to her she said that she still loves me but she felt confused and her reason for wanting to take some time was for her to see how she felt about us. How much she might miss me.

On one of her statements she suggested that she finds it hard to not think of me. What does this mean...

In addition she did say that the attention she was getting from her dates were a self confidence booster.

She assures me that because she been on dates that she has not been intimate with any of her dates and she is not ready to.

Besides she feels that if we ever got back together that she would not like for the past to repeat it self and be sorry for for her decision and that she wanted to try something difrent to see if could work.

I do not want to go back to the old days of braking up and making up , I want us to grow and be together for the rest of our lifes.

I hope that this is the final chapter for us to have the relationship that we want and yearn.