She wants a divorce!!
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| Tue, 10-02-2007 - 3:04pm |
More and more I’ve been getting less sex, so I knew something was wrong. I just convince myself that she was just going through a lot of stress or maybe my sex drive is too high for her. I got frustrated the last time she said no she isn’t in the mood. And said I’m going to have to satisfy myself with books or movies or we are going to have to have more. I knew that would urk her because she is against that. We average two to three times a month and I could have it every or every other day. I’ve been married 3 years and been living with her for 5, so the honeymoon is long over, but I love her very much. So this got her upset and she said she wasn’t going to tell me because she thought she was just going through something (depression or SAD) and it would eventually work itself out. She said she wants a divorce!! I asked her if I did something wrong. She said no. I asked her if there was someone else (Wrong question!!). She said of course not. She has just fallen out of love from me and she sees me for who I really am. This laid-back forgetful person and she doesn’t want to spend another year hoping that I’ll change. She says people don’t change. I said yes they do. I’m not the same person I was when I first met you. She wants a trial separation and has gone as far as planning exactly what we would do. So she has been thinking about this for awhile. I don’t believe trial separations work. Do they? This topic isn’t new. I bought an eraser board and split it up from high/med/low priority and asked her to put the hunny-to-do items on the board, but obviously I’m not crossing the items off the board quick enough or something else isn’t working.

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Hey there my_privacy,
How old are you?
Most importantly, what is your wife doing to save the marriage, besides pointing out what a failure you are?
Call me old fashion but I said some vows and that mean something. Through good times and bad. If it was so terrible, I’d shield myself from the pain and move out. Do the trial separation like she wanted, but it slowly getting better. I wish this would get better tomorrow but it probable will not. It took years to fall out of love with me. Unlikely demanding her being accountable in this relationship at this point will get me what I want. Yes I’m doing the more giving and compromising in the relationship at this point, but it is her that wants the divorce. We are very “nice” to each other. Call it good will; Call it her trying; don’t know, but my wife deals with things by going into her cave. I deal with things by talking it through.
Hi my-privacy, I'm not a regular board member, more of a semi-lurker, but I read your post/thread and felt perhaps I could offer something.
This is just my humble opinion:
The house work is "code".
I think it's interesting that she's disastisfied in her 2nd marriage - what was wrong with the first?
Thank you XYRO
So while you were
You're welcome.
Hi my_privacy,
Not sure if you checked out any of the books I recommended, but I wanted to add two more:
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
If you figure out her 'love language' you may find a different way of showing your love that she may actually respond to and/or accept from you.
Any luck in getting her to go to counseling with you?
No luck going to counselling. Haven't really pushed the subject since the last few times I brought it up and she said no.
Thank you for the books.
Just an FYI for everyone. She came to me and planted a kiss the other day. I think she is trying...but I think this is going to be a long journey. I pray I can hold out as
I've looked at when I first posted here
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