She wants a divorce!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
She wants a divorce!!
26
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 3:04pm

More and more I’ve been getting less sex, so I knew something was wrong. I just convince myself that she was just going through a lot of stress or maybe my sex drive is too high for her. I got frustrated the last time she said no she isn’t in the mood. And said I’m going to have to satisfy myself with books or movies or we are going to have to have more. I knew that would urk her because she is against that. We average two to three times a month and I could have it every or every other day. I’ve been married 3 years and been living with her for 5, so the honeymoon is long over, but I love her very much. So this got her upset and she said she wasn’t going to tell me because she thought she was just going through something (depression or SAD) and it would eventually work itself out. She said she wants a divorce!! I asked her if I did something wrong. She said no. I asked her if there was someone else (Wrong question!!). She said of course not. She has just fallen out of love from me and she sees me for who I really am. This laid-back forgetful person and she doesn’t want to spend another year hoping that I’ll change. She says people don’t change. I said yes they do. I’m not the same person I was when I first met you. She wants a trial separation and has gone as far as planning exactly what we would do. So she has been thinking about this for awhile. I don’t believe trial separations work. Do they? This topic isn’t new. I bought an eraser board and split it up from high/med/low priority and asked her to put the hunny-to-do items on the board, but obviously I’m not crossing the items off the board quick enough or something else isn’t working.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 10:36am

Thanks for the update,


I am sorry that things aren't improving that much. Being there for her right now, is probably a good thing. However, the longer you continue to be unhappy with things the more likely it is you are going to start resenting her. Which will be the end of your marriage. Make sure you take care of yourself too.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 8:19am

Does she want you to change as a person?

It is not enough to have a good mind.  The main thing is to use it well.-- Rene Descartes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 6:05pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 10:50pm

Interesting…there may be some validity in what you are saying. Things are getting better and better. My wife actually said I love you tonight. I had to offer to go sleep in the other room because I was disturbing her sleep because I was sleep groping and she is a light sleeper. I’ve been also doing more and more for my step-kids which has been helping. Also doing more around the house.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 3:29am

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 10:14pm

Well my wife and I seemed to have connected and our lives are back on track. We have made love a couple of times now and she has been very affectionate towards me. Saying that she loves me. Looking back I still don’t understand what happened or what I did to make this change. Perhaps it was what I did, perhaps it was a depression she was going through. Perhaps a little of both….All I’m glad is we are walking together on the same road again.


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