SHOULD I BE BOTHERED OR JUST WAIT ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2005
SHOULD I BE BOTHERED OR JUST WAIT ?
4
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 9:28pm
IS IT RIGHT TO GO ON WITH A RELATIONSHIP TO A GUY WHO DIDN'T INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS FAMILY (PARENTS,BROTHER AND SISTER) FOR TWO YEAR RELATIONSHIP? I ONLY MET HER DAUGHTER ONCE AND NOW WE HAVE SEPARATE SCHEDULE SEEING HIS DAD AND I. BUT HIS FRIENDS KNOWS ME AS HIS GIRLFRIEND. SHOULD I WAIT FOR ANOTHER YEAR TO KEEP GOING? I ALREADY CONFRONTED HIM AND THIS IS THE ONLY ANSWER ..... HE IS TELLING ME THAT WE GONNA LIVE TOGETHER SOMEDAY AND HE IS SERIOUS ,BUT THE SET UP OF SCHEDULING WITH HIS 11 YR OLD DAUGHTER AND I STILL SEPARATED. I'M 36 AND WANTED TO HAVE A FAMILY.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 11:41am

Welcome to the board marielle2005,


Only you know how long you are willing to wait for the introduction....


Here's a book that might help you decide:

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 1:46pm

Welcome to the board marielle,


Does his family live close by or do they live a ways away? If they live close, I would think you should have met them by now. Does he treat you like his girlfriend in other ways?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2005
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 10:56pm

He is treating me like a girlfriend. We always have a date once a week. We always talk everyday. The house of his parents and sister is only 10 min. away from his house,never I see them personally. For almost two year I only met his 11 yr. old daughter once. This past couple of months, I've been so interrogating about his plans for me,I even wrote him a letter just to express what I felt of wanted to have a family,either getting pregnant or marriege and he answered it's like hitting a gun on his head , meeting it constantly. he said casually not to worry that we gonna live together but never he explain about the plans on when.

After meeting his daughter once, he said gradually we gonna move to the next stage. But his daughter and I are separate schedule. I should fit in to the schedule whenever the daughter is not around. He said his ex-gf is already living with someone else w/c is also 10 mins. away from his house and already have a baby with someoneelse. But never I see her ex-gf if it's true. Sometimes,when I called him when he is with his daughter, it took awhile to answer the phone or not answering the phone. When he is with me and the daughter call,he don't answer the phone..feels suspicious sometimes. He does that sometimes. I only met his friends,for two yrs. now.

I don't know if I am wrong for being to pushy about commitment,(pls ans. this)since we are two years now . I don't know if it's right to demand meeting his family when he already met all my friends,relatives and family. (pls ans. this) I just feel like I need something in return the way I do to him...it feels good,I have a piece of mind. It's worrying me too much..that he is just getting use of scheduling things are... I broke up recently,I don't know if it's right decision...I still wanted to work things out,but I wanted him to do the first move. I s it right to call him back to compromise? (pls ans. this)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 4:57am

I don't think you're going to get what you want from this relationship. You want marriage and a baby, he likes the status quo. You keep pressing for what you want, and he feels that you're beating him on the head with a gun. Neither of you is wrong, you're just in different places in your lives, and there's no reason to think that's going to change anytime soon.

You want a compromise, but what would that be? You want to meet his daughter, but he doesn't want you to. You want a relationship with his family, but he's not interested. You want to get married and have a baby, but he absolutely doesn't. These are yes/no situations; no meeting-halfway is possible.

Since the two of you want different things, and he's happy with the situation as it stands, you are the one who has to decide if you can be happy with the relationship continuing indefinitely as it is now, or calling it quits when you've had enough.