Should I be worrying about this??
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| Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:28pm |
I am new to this board, so I just wanted to say hello to everyone out there, and I would appreciate any comments I can get on my situation.
I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for only 3 months, even though we have known each other since last august. We have a great connection, we can talk about anything with each other and it feels like we have known each other for years. We are also dealing with it being long distance at the moment because we go to schools in different parts of the state. Once we graduate in May, we will both be living in the same area.
Before he got to know me, he was head over heels with his best friend, who is a girl. He has known her for three years and she has helped him through some tough times in his life. He has told me that he has always found her attractive and they have been sexually active in the past. They go to the same school, have a class together, and they speak on the phone at least 2-3 times a week. She used to come to his house to study and sleep over (in his bed), but since we have been officially together, I told him that it has had to stop and it has. He still has many pictures of her on his phone and his computer (along with a few of his other ex's). When I confronted him about this, he told me that he just likes keeping his pictures and they dont mean anything since they were all taken in the past. When I asked why he didnt pursue a relationship with her, he told me that she didnt want one at this point of her life.
My problem is, that as much as I like him and care about him, it just hurts me so much to know that he felt so strongly about this girl who still to this day is a part of his life. He tells me that he cares so much for me, and that his best friend is just a good friend who happens to be attractive and thats what she will always be. I do trust him, because I know that what he says is more than just words, and besides my hunches on what he has done in the past, I have no reason to believe that he is doing otherwise. I am more worried about the feelings that she may have for him and her ability to resurrect those feelings in him. Do you think that I am worrying myself over something that happened in the past and I should focus more on my future with him? Or do I have reason to worry and I should try to get out before I get hurt? Please let me know what you guys think, I would really appreicate it!

Welcome to the board basha712,
While I can understand you being uncomfortable with their relationship, I think it is a very good sign that he agreed to limiting her contact such as staying the night with him. With that being said, I don't think you should worry. Focus on your relationship and getting know each other better and your future. Worrying about this will get you no where, especially since you can't control her actions. Plus you said you trust him.
Good luck and please feel free to post on the board anytime.
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