Should I believe him?
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Should I believe him?
| Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:57pm |
well, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I had just moved to Chicago and shortly after, had met him by accident, on an local online dating site. About a month ago we decided to move in together. When we had first started dating, I remember one instance where I was at his house and he had already left for work. I was being nosy and looked through some stuff he had in one of his drawers. At the bottom of the drawer there were naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend. After that, I also found a stash of porn tapes. Although I didnt like the fact that he watched porn I let that slide, but it upset me that he had naked pictures of some girl he had dated. I did not see a reason for him to have kept those. So, I confronted him and he promised he would throw them away.
Second instance, I gave him my credit cards to hold on to so that way I didnt have to cancel them but I wouldnt' be tempted to use them. When I got my statement that next month there were charges on one of them that I didnt recognize. This had been one of the cards I had given to him. I then asked him if he had that card and if he used it and he said no. Later that month, in the same drawer i found the pictures, I found the card that he told me to my face he didn't have.
Since then we have gotten into several arguments about trust. He doesnt understand why I dont trust him, but ive caught him in so many lies.
Third instance, I was looking at his phone and noticed that when you connect to the internet from it, it automatically goes to his e-mail account. In there I found an e-mail from some girl saying that she can't wait to meet him and giving all her information. I then looked at his computer and found files that were pictures of girls that had been deleted, over 300 porn videos he had downloaded, and e-mail accounts and accounts with such places as adultfriendfinder.com. So I confronted him and once again, he said he gets that stuff all the time.
I have since looked through his stuff again and found a picture and a letter from some girl dated february of this year. I also found him to have several profiles on dating websites. I dont mean to sound like that pschyo girlfriend going through his stuff all the time, but every time i do I find something bad, and he lies and denies it all. Everytime!!!! I need advice on what to do because I really do love this man. I would marry him in a heartbeat and the good times we have together make up for the bad ones. But I need to know if I a being lied to so I can move on with my life. The only thing is, I have to find a way to catch him on my own, otherwise all he sees it as is me going through his stuff all the time. I have a feeling he is meeting girls on the internet and talking to them but I have no way to prove it. I need to see it for myself.
Second instance, I gave him my credit cards to hold on to so that way I didnt have to cancel them but I wouldnt' be tempted to use them. When I got my statement that next month there were charges on one of them that I didnt recognize. This had been one of the cards I had given to him. I then asked him if he had that card and if he used it and he said no. Later that month, in the same drawer i found the pictures, I found the card that he told me to my face he didn't have.
Since then we have gotten into several arguments about trust. He doesnt understand why I dont trust him, but ive caught him in so many lies.
Third instance, I was looking at his phone and noticed that when you connect to the internet from it, it automatically goes to his e-mail account. In there I found an e-mail from some girl saying that she can't wait to meet him and giving all her information. I then looked at his computer and found files that were pictures of girls that had been deleted, over 300 porn videos he had downloaded, and e-mail accounts and accounts with such places as adultfriendfinder.com. So I confronted him and once again, he said he gets that stuff all the time.
I have since looked through his stuff again and found a picture and a letter from some girl dated february of this year. I also found him to have several profiles on dating websites. I dont mean to sound like that pschyo girlfriend going through his stuff all the time, but every time i do I find something bad, and he lies and denies it all. Everytime!!!! I need advice on what to do because I really do love this man. I would marry him in a heartbeat and the good times we have together make up for the bad ones. But I need to know if I a being lied to so I can move on with my life. The only thing is, I have to find a way to catch him on my own, otherwise all he sees it as is me going through his stuff all the time. I have a feeling he is meeting girls on the internet and talking to them but I have no way to prove it. I need to see it for myself.
So, if you have any advice or have been in a similar situation please help me!!!!!!

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If you need help with anything else, you can reach me at "BooBooLaa@aol.com" ... or i m me at booboolaa.
Thanks, Crystal
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