should i break it off???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2007
should i break it off???
2
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 3:27pm

I met ryan over 2 years ago. I was recently single for only a month or more, just coming out of a four year relationship. I was bored in that relationship, i loved him but i wasnt in love anymore. We didnt get along anymore either and were both unhappy with our relationship, mostly because we dated in highschool and moved to college together, lived together and hated where we lived. It was fun in the beginning because we lived with friends from highschool. But they moved back home after only a year and we were the only ones that stayed, so it was boring then. Well we broke it off, i broke it off. It was very traumatic and then i realized i needed to be in relationships. Well, now i think i got into one too soon with ryan. I am once again bored and resent him a lot, i get mad at him a lot for no reason either and i hate myself for that. He is a loving person and always is thinking about me. But the thing is he is the oldest 22 year old i have ever met. His friends are all older and he is content with just hanging out with them. I like to too, but i also like to go out. Im 22 also. We are engaged, i didnt want to be until i found out my whole family and his whole family knew about it. So i felt like i had to, i actually didnt say yes for 20 minutes. You would think he would take that as a sign. But its like he didnt care, he just wanted me to say yes and forget the details. I was happy being engaged for a long time but now, again im bored. I love attention from men, and i get a lot of it. I wish i was single and could do whatever i want, but i hate being alone. I know im not going to marry him and i still wear the ring. Im afraid to break it off because i dont know where ill live and i dont have a lot of money, im a college student almost done with my bachelors. And not to mention, i have many opportunities with men. For instance, i work with a guy that is extrememly good looking and i love to hang out with him, he feels the same way and he calls all the time. And even came to somewhere where ryan and i and our friends were at, out drinking. But he came all alone to hang out with me, and ryan got mad but i didnt care. And now, ryan is going out of town for a few days and i plan on hanging out with this other guy, i wont cheat but i love his attention. I love attention so much that i dont think i should be in relationships for a long time...but i need to get out of this one first, even though i love him more than anything and dont want to hurt him, but i think i have to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 3:36pm

Welcome to the board dezi_lynn,


Yes you should break it off with him. You write that :


1. I am once again bored and resent him a lot, i get mad at him a lot for no reason


2. We are engaged, i didnt want to be until i found out my whole family and his whole family knew about it. So i felt like i had to, i actually didnt say yes for 20 minutes.


3. I love attention from men, and i get a lot of it. I wish i was single and could do whatever i want


4. I know im not going to marry him and i still wear the ring.


5. For instance, i work with a guy that is extrememly good looking and i love to hang out with him, he feels the same way and he calls all the time. And even came to somewhere where ryan and i and our friends were at, out drinking. But he came all alone to hang out with me, and ryan got mad but i didnt care. And now, ryan is going out of town for a few days and i plan on hanging out with this other guy, i wont cheat but i love his attention. I love attention so much that i dont think i should be in relationships for a long time...but i need to get out of this one first,


You never mentioned one reason to stay in the relationship. At this point you are only using him for someone to live. Do what is right for yourself and for him. The longer you wait the harder it is going to be.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 3:45pm

Welcome to the board dezi_lynn,


If you want to save the relationship, you need to not hang out with the guy at work and focus on improving the relationship you are in - Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw.