Should I call?
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| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 4:37am |
We had a fight 2 days back. It started with him keeping quiet while I struggle very hard to keep a conversation. I asked whether he is thinking of something else or just not in the mood to talk. But he said nothing. Finally I gave up and sat quietly too. Then he went home (we're not staying together). I called him and he said he is very tired to talk. So I asked why didn't he tell me he's tired? He answered that if I don't know he is tired, then he doesn't know what are we. I felt so hurt.
Anyway, I called again later in the night to say I'm sorry and all of a sudden, he yelled at me and hang up on me. I was very shocked and stunned that I don't know what to think but just sat there holding the ear piece to my ear. He has not call me since and neither did I.
I really love him but somehow I've spent 2 miserable days thinking that he'll not come back. Never a day passed since I knew him a year ago that he has not called me. Should I call him?

Don't call. When he does, tell him that your commnunication as a couple needs to improve or the relationship is over.
Be strong!
No, don't call him. The relationship you describe is not healthy. It is not right for one person to always say I'm sorry or take all the blame. No wonder you feel insecure. He makes you feel as though every problem or anything that bothers him is due to you. It's not. It's due to the fact that he is unwilling to communicate, or to take responsibility for his actions and feelings. Blaming you is just a symptom of the fact that he doesn't know who "he" is, and he doesn't sound willing to find out. There is simply no excuse for his yelling at you over the phone. He is dumping all his anger and frustration your way. Don't take it. There is no reason you should have known he was tired. You're not a mind reader. This is the way babies feel, that their mother's should know exactly what's going on inside them and they don't have to say a word. This is not how mature relationships operate. His behavior is not only childish it is abusive to you.
Unless he calls and says "he's" sorry - unless he is willing to communicate open and face what's going on there is no way that this relationship can progress in a way that's healthy for you. Step back and see who he really is. Be careful who you give your heart to. Otherwise you can get hurt a lot.
Best wishes.
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I love him very much and I don't want this relationship to end. I want to have another try. Can anyone tells me how to save this relationship?
No offense but are you kidding me??!! His love is conditional. He is manipulative. Why do you want to save such an unhealthy relationship?
Please get out and find someone who respects you.