Should I call it quits?
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Should I call it quits?
| Mon, 01-26-2004 - 10:11am |
I have been dating this guy for the past year who is 15 years older than me. We get along OK most of the time, but when we are together, he expects me to be touching him all the time. Sometimes I feel like he is smothering me. If he thinks I am not paying enough attention to him, he gets upset. Anytime we argue, it is always because of this. If I don't feel like having sex sometimes, he gets very upset and tells me that I don't love him. We have talked about this and he says he will try to change, but it keeps happening. Should I continue with this relationship? Any suggestions?

Sounds like you want out. If things are only 'o.k. most of the time' then why stay?
Right now this is somewhat unhealthy. You shouldn't have to be under pressure to touch him all the time and have sex all the time. You certainly have a right not to be in the mood and not have to deal with his anger about it or upset. He has a problem here. He may have some kind of sexual addiction and feel that when he is not touched or doesn't have sex he is being rejected and not loved. You cannot solve this for him by constantly acquiescing. He needs to work on his own feelings here, which are unreasonable. This does not change just because he wants it to. It sounds quite deep rooted. If this is bothering or smothering you and you are not comfortable with it, let him know that he needs to go get help with this situation. Sometimes these things escalate as well. Feelings smothered or under the gun in anyway in a relationship is unhealthy. Relationships should be mutual - and you have every right not to touch him if you don't want to at a certain point, or not have sex. Otherwise this turns into a form of control.
Trust your feelings here. If he doesn't get some help for this, think things over carefully.
All good wishes.
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