Should i continue to see him?
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Should i continue to see him?
| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 8:03am |
This is long but i do need whatever feedback i can get, so please read my story:
Most of the friends i hang out with are guys, many times im the only girl in the group. I had always looked at them like brothers because that's how I saw them and how they treated me. Last year around september we took a trip to Orlando. One of my closest friends took a girl who he was seeing at the time so i to give his space spent more time with another of my guy friends which we will call Max. The girls had our own room but we spent most of our time in the guys room, and i even slept there next to this other friend of mine. Well that night we were all pretty excited and horseplayed a lot, and i noticed that this friend of mine was grabbing me in a different way. That night i saw him in a different way as well, and at night while we were in bed I felt tension between us, and neither of us could fall asleep. I felt at times like he wanted to get close to me but didn't. The second night we were watching tv in bed and under the covers i felt him cares me I wasn't sure if he was actually caressing me so i allowed it until it was confirmed. When i did confirm that he was caressing me i freaked and ran out of the room (childish, maybe, but hey he was to me like another brother). The next day we didn't talk of what had happend but when we got back to town he began inviting me to go out to the movies. At the movies he would caress me a bit but it would not amount to anything more. Finally around his b-day in Oct I asked him to define what it was we were doing, and he said we were just friends that it couldn't amount to anything and that i knew why, (oh yeah, when i met this group of guys i dated one of them, he had broken up with his gf and his bf was this guys sister, they got back together and she hates my guts). So after his b-day we had that talk and stopped seeing eachother. I begun seeing someone else and I wouldn't think of him as much. In November the guys were taking a trip and invited me to go with them. Same buddy again took someone he was seeing so i was forced to stay with Max. We slept in the same bed and well that night we got intimate. I felt very confused and a bit used after that incident, and the next day I didn't want to talk to him. When he got back to town we talked and I told him that it was a mistake and that we just couldn't continue to see eachother. Again I we went back to being friends though i noticed that he didn't want to go out with the group either, finally one night he did, we had gone to see a movie, this was December, and though we were with the group he begun to caress me and after that night we started to go out alone again. He asked me to give it a try to see if later in the future we could bring our relationship in public. I agreed to this and since than we have been seeing eachother. Now im having trust issues and I told him about it. I let him know that I had too many things going on in my life and that I could not deal with worrying about his where abouts, that i didn't want to continue. Sometimes i call him and he doesn't pick up the phone and then he gives me explanations that seem a bit weird to me. Also since no one knows that we are dating, other girls play with him, like a friend of ours who seems to like him, she is always flirting with him and he didn't see it like that till I pointed it out. Just as we are having these trust issues and i want to break up, we go to the beach to play volleyball, everyone is playing but he doesn't want to play. A couple of girls come in to play and all the sudden he wants to play. When we are heading home i tell him that i got upset because of what had happen in the beach and he gets upset and tells me that he was only playing with me about wanting to play, that I had not been paying him any attention and that he went over to get my attention. I didn't listen to him and told him that I hoped he did not need to talk because everything was clear, that was two days ago today and i have not heard from him since. A friend who does know about us tells me that is for the best, that he never had faith in Max since heard about the sudden moved he made in Orlando. He tells me that just like he made that move on me he could easily do it to any other friend on another trip where i am not present. He has never had a serious relationship and the things that i didn't like i would call him on it and he would change them, should I call him on this and give him another chance? Or would that be useless considering the family problem here?
Most of the friends i hang out with are guys, many times im the only girl in the group. I had always looked at them like brothers because that's how I saw them and how they treated me. Last year around september we took a trip to Orlando. One of my closest friends took a girl who he was seeing at the time so i to give his space spent more time with another of my guy friends which we will call Max. The girls had our own room but we spent most of our time in the guys room, and i even slept there next to this other friend of mine. Well that night we were all pretty excited and horseplayed a lot, and i noticed that this friend of mine was grabbing me in a different way. That night i saw him in a different way as well, and at night while we were in bed I felt tension between us, and neither of us could fall asleep. I felt at times like he wanted to get close to me but didn't. The second night we were watching tv in bed and under the covers i felt him cares me I wasn't sure if he was actually caressing me so i allowed it until it was confirmed. When i did confirm that he was caressing me i freaked and ran out of the room (childish, maybe, but hey he was to me like another brother). The next day we didn't talk of what had happend but when we got back to town he began inviting me to go out to the movies. At the movies he would caress me a bit but it would not amount to anything more. Finally around his b-day in Oct I asked him to define what it was we were doing, and he said we were just friends that it couldn't amount to anything and that i knew why, (oh yeah, when i met this group of guys i dated one of them, he had broken up with his gf and his bf was this guys sister, they got back together and she hates my guts). So after his b-day we had that talk and stopped seeing eachother. I begun seeing someone else and I wouldn't think of him as much. In November the guys were taking a trip and invited me to go with them. Same buddy again took someone he was seeing so i was forced to stay with Max. We slept in the same bed and well that night we got intimate. I felt very confused and a bit used after that incident, and the next day I didn't want to talk to him. When he got back to town we talked and I told him that it was a mistake and that we just couldn't continue to see eachother. Again I we went back to being friends though i noticed that he didn't want to go out with the group either, finally one night he did, we had gone to see a movie, this was December, and though we were with the group he begun to caress me and after that night we started to go out alone again. He asked me to give it a try to see if later in the future we could bring our relationship in public. I agreed to this and since than we have been seeing eachother. Now im having trust issues and I told him about it. I let him know that I had too many things going on in my life and that I could not deal with worrying about his where abouts, that i didn't want to continue. Sometimes i call him and he doesn't pick up the phone and then he gives me explanations that seem a bit weird to me. Also since no one knows that we are dating, other girls play with him, like a friend of ours who seems to like him, she is always flirting with him and he didn't see it like that till I pointed it out. Just as we are having these trust issues and i want to break up, we go to the beach to play volleyball, everyone is playing but he doesn't want to play. A couple of girls come in to play and all the sudden he wants to play. When we are heading home i tell him that i got upset because of what had happen in the beach and he gets upset and tells me that he was only playing with me about wanting to play, that I had not been paying him any attention and that he went over to get my attention. I didn't listen to him and told him that I hoped he did not need to talk because everything was clear, that was two days ago today and i have not heard from him since. A friend who does know about us tells me that is for the best, that he never had faith in Max since heard about the sudden moved he made in Orlando. He tells me that just like he made that move on me he could easily do it to any other friend on another trip where i am not present. He has never had a serious relationship and the things that i didn't like i would call him on it and he would change them, should I call him on this and give him another chance? Or would that be useless considering the family problem here?
