Should I end this relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Should I end this relationship?
7
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 8:32am

Hi All,


I need a bit of input from you all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 8:59am

You both sound like good people with difficult pasts. He's taking the death of his wife very hard. I'm sure this is something that you've thought of before, but if you met while he was grieving he was most likely using you to fill the "committed relationship" void in his life. He didn't really want to go back to the dating game, or "let's start slow and see how this goes" because he wanted his wife's place filled immediately. No lead-ins, just commitment. Even if they had a rocky marriage he still had someone there every day to talk to, eat dinner with, wake up with in the morning. That's a tough thing to lose.

That said, it sounds as though you two are better as friends. Your expectations from a relationship are very different at the moment and if he does a bit of growing from his experience, he will probably feel secure enough to go back into a slowly progressing relationship with you, not an immediate commitment, which would be for the best.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 11:17am

I think it would be kindest for HIM if you moved on completely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 12:30pm

Thank you for your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 12:35pm
Attraction is not enough to keep this a relationship. There are too many problems that won't change unless you both compromise on what type of relationship you want and unless he seeks therapy for his insecurity. He sounds like a 19 year old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 1:31pm

Hi Sheri,


I guess the phone call thing sounded trivial to you, but you need to understand we talked every night.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 3:15pm

Actually, it's more that it

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 4:02pm

Hi Ciao,