Should I even keep trying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Should I even keep trying?
3
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:19pm

This is slightly confusing…please bear with me! I’ve known this guy for about 3 years and in the past year we’ve struck up a very personal friendship which led to dating. So, we’ve been “dating” for about 5 months…but I haven’t seen him since early May 2007 because I have been at my ‘summer’ home and will be here until the end of August. So, we’ve been apart for the last four months.

The first six weeks of the long distance were alright, we would text each other on a pretty regular basis but near the end of those six weeks communication was not working. We mutually decided to wait until we were back in the same city so we could properly ‘date.’ Fast forward to now – I am two weeks away from returning and we have begun to text each other again. We’ve been sending some pretty racy pictures and texts back and fourth to one another in the past few days. About two nights ago he asked if I would be sending more, I said I would the following night and as promised, I did. he positively responded to the first message. However, in the picture message I asked if he was sleeping, because if he was we could always wait until another night to “sext” message one another. He did mention that he was sleeping but he was up for some interesting messages/photos. So on that note, I sent him 2 more and he never responded...but I think he may have fallen asleep. (His time zone is two hours ahead of mine) Now I am really really mad at him and I want to know if I am completely out of line here.

Personally, I think that if he were tired and falling asleep he could have just told me. If he did fall asleep, I think he should have texted me this morning apologizing. It left me really upset at the entire situation and now I question the reasons as to what happened. I may be going crazy and grasping at straws here but I can not help but think he was with another women and she caught him. I should mention, he has never once called me in the past four months – texting and a few e-mails has been our communication. I want to know what other people, both men and women’s advice would be in this situation and I also want to know what to do next. Do I text him and tell him I’m upset and hurt, do I ignore what he did and pretend nothing happened, or do I just forget him and move on with my life! I am really hurt by what he did…and would love some words of wisdom. Thank you.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:29pm

For starters, it's not a good idea to "sext" someone you barely know. It's not the best way to start a relationship. The tone it sets is that of someone just looking for some fun.


If he hasn't called you this entire time, you cannot consider this to be a relationship at all. He may very well be dating others, actually, there's no reason why he shouldn't be. The two of you are not exclusive, in fact you are barely anything at all. There is a real danger in this long distance situations for fantasies to develop and for us to imagine it's much more than it is. If the two of you were really interested over this time of separation phone calls and even visits would have been in order. I would not make anything of this situation at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 3:09pm

Welcome to the board legallybrunette_84,


What did you decide to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 3:21pm
i agree with the cl.....he is a flake and you deserve better.