Should I expect my boyfriend to pay for medical expenses for an ectopic pregnancy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2012
Should I expect my boyfriend to pay for medical expenses for an ectopic pregnancy?
19
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 7:28pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

Semahony, I'm so sorry for your loss.

With regards to your boyfriend, did you tell him that you would appreciate a bit of financial help towards the bills?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2012

Thank you- no, I felt uncomfortable about it, especially because neither of us had been looking to get pregnant at this time, and we both have so few financial resources. But he was aware I had to cash out a retirement fund to pay the bill and saw that this caused me a lot of worry. I guess I wanted him to volunteer to pay some of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

Communication is essential if we want to get our needs met.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
I think since neither one of you are working and he knew you were worried about cashing out a retirement fund, that yes he could have at least offered to help you out with the expenses. But then again if he's not working and he's living off of the few thousand dollars he has in savings, then maybe he's holding on to his money with a tight fist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

Did you discuss the lack of insurance and finances with the financial office of the hospital?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Since it was related to a pregnancy he helped create, I do think he should help pay for the cost of the surgery. Yes, it would have been nice if he'd thought of it himself and offered to help pay but no one is perfect and he's not psychic - you need to communicate with him what you expect and want from him.

I don't think this is worth breaking up with him over - that would be a bit of an overreaction. Maybe if you had communicated with him and asked him to help you out and he refused, I could understand questioning what kind of person he is if he won't help pay for the consequences of his choice to have sex. Your pregnancy is as much his responsibility as it is yours. And furthermore, it suggests you can't rely on him to help you when you need it. But at least give him a chance to think about it and see it from that point of view first before breaking up with him - talk to him first, tell him how you're feeling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

You should probably use this experience as a wake up call.

Do you intend to make more of a committment with your BF, such as marriage?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2012

Thank you everyone for your replies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011

I tihnk he should pay for half personally. It stinks that you have to ask him for it, but then again since you had the resource (at least in his mind) to handle it, maybe he thought you didn't need/want him to.

But if you feel he is not interested in the relationship progressing, that is a different issue and you need to know where you stand

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Semahony,

I think you just found out how "committed" he really is! What if you had a normal pregnancy and carried to term? Would he just have offered you "sympathy" and "sort of admitted it was his fault, too" and then turned his back?

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