Should I just get over his sex-capades? HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2011
Should I just get over his sex-capades? HELP!
8
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 7:17pm

I was dating my ex boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

Is it the number of women he was with during your separation, or the fact that he felt the need to be with other women, that is bothering you most?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2011
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 10:20pm

i guess im more upset with the fact he wanted other girls, like i wasnt good enough, and then the number of girls. because if he was just with one or two i wouldnt be as taken back as i am. my mouth dropped when he said 7. because to me thats like ALOT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 10:41pm

Were you the first girl he had sex wih?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 12:40am

I don't get it.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

Hi

I can say that there are two ways of looking at this.

dragowoman

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 11:36am

I don't think anyone can tell you to get over or not get over how many women he was with. That is a completely subjective decision for you to make. You don't have to like it, and you don't have to not like it. If it is going to bother the hell ouf of you, then you probably should move on. It is much more possible for men to have no strings attached flings than it is for women. I mean that in terms of its easier for men to keep their emotions out of it. Your attitude, being that you are so very young, is understandable and probably fairly common for young women. If or when you find yourself in the dating pool when you are in your late 20s or 30s or later, your attitude will change as almost any potential partner you date will have had multiple lovers over their lifetime.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2009

I think your reaction poster is more telling about you than him, and that is OK! It's ok for you to be concerned about it, but, it's also ok for him to exploring, and honest with you. The questions for you that might be lingering are: were these decent women? ie: were any hookers? were any not of a healthy caliber? To all who replied, let's not assume his explorations didn't take him far and wide into the realm of all kinds of women. perhaps the poster is concerned about this. and hey, seven in one year? Yeah, that would set off alarms in me too, hello, std's? did the poster ask him to update his health exams and assure her he is std free from all this exploration? With each partner comes increased risk you know, condom or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
The truth is you're young and don't realize that you should be happy that he went and got his ya ya's out. Would you rather that he stay with you and not explore, but always wonder what it would be like to explore? I can tell you first hand that it is much better that he went out and tried different things and realized it was YOU that he wanted. Believe me, you are in a much better position. This means when it comes down to it, he couldn't find anyone that has your qualities and decided he didn't need to search anymore. He had what he wanted all along in you. Consider yourself lucky if you truly love him because you won't have to worry about him wondering what the grass on the other side is like. He already knows and decided the grass is much much More greener with you.