Should I pay towards the rent?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Should I pay towards the rent?
24
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 6:40am

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half.

I have a place of my own but spend nearly all of my time around

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 10:40am

Are you planning to officially move in sometime soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 11:01am

If your name is not on the lease, and therefore you have no legal rights or responsibilities in the apartment, then NO you should ABSOLUTELY NOT be paying rent.

"And also, if she expects me to show this kind of commitment.... I think it's right she should tell her ex that I'm there."

I agree with you. I think this woman is asking you to commit to her without expecting the same of herself. This is a really bad sign for the relationship. She is attempting to take advantage of you, big time. I would reconsider this relationship entirely...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 3:11pm

If the kid's dad knows that you are dating mom, then what business is it of his how often you are there?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 4:09pm

So have you discussed what you feel is fair with her about expenses?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 7:40pm

alwaysaknight, I agree that you shouldn't be paying rent unless you are on the lease.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 2:05am

Run away fast.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 2:51am
If you are keeping a substantial amount of your stuff there, and you are sleeping there regularly, I do feel it would be fair for you to pay something toward the rent as you are essentially living there part time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 3:17am

Firstly, thanks for all the replies. I didn't expect to get such an overwhelming opinion in one direction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 5:18am

I'm reading this differently than your original post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 7:23am

That's right, she asked me to pay a share of food as well as pay a share of rent. All in the same 5 minutes. :)

And yes, I have been buying food from time to time. For example, I cooked up a pasta dish last week and bought the ingredients. I also spotted we were low on water/juice and bought in some water/juice. It's very common for me to do this though I think she ends up buying more food than I. Hence her asking me to put money toward food. I haven't been keeping tabs on it really. Certainly, when we've gone to a market together, I've offered to pay for food. Sometimes she has accepted and I've bought something, other times she's said no (saying "you do enough for us"). Actually, remembering that makes me see this situation as even more bizarre as I felt I was being fair from the start. :-S

I don't believe she's using me to get back with the ex. There are so many

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