Should I Put Off The Wedding?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Should I Put Off The Wedding?
6
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 3:37pm

Hi Everyone,

I'm not sure if this is the write place to ask this but here it goes....
my fiance and I have booked a date to get married July 2009 however, the wedding
expenses are staggering and my fiance and I would have a hard time paying for
the DJ, Florist, and Photography. My family has helped out tremendously by paying
for the reception and ceremony cite. My fiance dosn't want my family to have to help
pay for other aspects of the wedding since they have done so much already. My fiance however does not want to ask his family for help. I am still a student and will need a
year to complete my degree once we are married. Putting off the wedding would help us have more time to save without having to ask are families. My fiance has a good job but has many other bills to pay such as mortgage on our future home and rent until our home is built.
I work part time but that is only enough to cover groceries. Moving back the wedding would be an easy decision accept my fiance has had a kidney transplant five years ago that is now failing. The doctor gave him a year to a year and a half before he will need to go back on dialysis and need another kidney transplant. If it weren't for the kidney problem moving the wedding back a year would be no big deal. Any advice is appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 5:20pm

Ultimately, aren't you getting married because you love one another, not because you want a party?

I think you should look into inexpensive wedding ideas and try to keep the date on track.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 5:47pm

Welcome to the board nida22,


I find it interesting that since tradition in most cultures follow the custom that the Bride's father (family) pays for the wedding and your guy wants no part of that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 6:20pm
Why not just cut way back ? Why does it have to be staggeringly expensive?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 6:23pm
What about a simple ceremony in July (or whenever) and a reception/celebration of your husbands recovery at another time?? Personally I don't believe in going into debt for the wedding.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 12:59pm

Welcome to the board nida22,


I don't see any reason why you should postpone the wedding. Look at things that cost less money or cut back on some stuff. Or make the wedding smaller or elope (my dh and I did).

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 1:07pm

It sounds as though you want to be married due to your fiancees physical condition. Perhaps you fear that more expenses will be incurred to help him at that time?


Why not get married simply and forget a big, huge lavish wedding? You can have a simple ceremony and dinner party with those you are both close to. Then, later on, if circumstances allow it, you can have a larger party. The important part is being married, being together. This does not require either of you to place a financial strain on yourself. Some of the most beautiful weddings take place right in someone's home.


Best wishes,