Should I stay or should I go?
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Should I stay or should I go?
| Sun, 09-19-2004 - 11:39pm |
I used to love my boyfriend of five years, nearly worshipped him. But since the begining of our relationship he has had an addicition to porn and masturbation. He used the excuse that he never had an outlet for his sexual desires but the thing is, I have always been open with him, open to try new things but he is still viewing hours upon hours of porn nearly every day. It is mostly women with abnormally huge breasts or much much older women or women with extreme makeup. Now I have indulged every one of his fantacies by wearing the corsets, girdles and stockings, doing the "Tammy Faye Baker" style make up, but I dont have big breasts so I'm pretty screwed there. He still prefers to sneak( and yes, he does sneak, when ever I am not home)his hours of porn and masturbate instead of having sex with me.He has also told other women( yes he has been in intimate contact with other women on the net) on the net that he is sexually attracted to his Mother( OMFG) so what in the name of ANYHIGHERPOWER can I do to make this man be attracted to ME? I already know the answer to that. I CANT do anything to satisfy this man EVER. So why stay in a relationship that is so destructive? Why stay with a man that devalues me at every opportunity? I dont have a clue. He tells me all the time, "I DONT like huge breasts"! but the files on the computer are ALL huge tits. I am so disgusted by all of this and it makes me feel so bad. I used to think that i would never find anything that I disliked about this man, but I finally have. His filthy, disgusting and totally selfish sex life.

Go here and read Pam's story:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcouplescou/?msg=7864.7
Then take a deep look at yourself. Figure out why you stay with someone that would rather be alone in his sexuality? A lot could do with your self-esteem. Staying in hopes he will change, fear of being alone, wanting to prove we can have a positive impact on his choices, etc, ego, not wanting to end a relationship because it might be seen as a failure.
I hope you meet someone that is more able to be emotionally intimate with you that carries over to the physical aspects of the relationship.
Carrie