Should I stay or Should I go...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Should I stay or Should I go...?
3
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 3:55pm

Hi Everyone,


This is my 1st time visiting iVillage for more than taking the quizzes to past the time @ work... I stumbled across this msg board, read some of the other issues that people are having, & decided to give it a try. Here goes...


A

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 6:30pm

it sounds like Jake is a tad high maintenance and it seems that you should always kowtow to him and be sensitive to his needs, while he doesnt have to learn how to communicate with you or learn how to handle conflict or disagreements.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 8:22pm

Thanks Sugarbaby :)


Neither of us has used the L-word but he's always said that he cares deeply for me. I agree that he seems guarded, I've kinda felt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2008
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 12:29am

Hi...

Having been married to (and finally divorcing) a physician, I have a few bits of advice---I hope they will be helpful. I would say, whole heartedly, go. Go and find out. You have absolutely nothing to lose, and an opportunity to see how the two of you relate to each other on a day to day basis (or as much as your busy schedules will allow). I believe that it takes a good six months of being around someone (in the same city, and seeing them often), before you can even BEGIN seeing a bit of their true character and your own. And six months is only the beginning of this process! Of course, I also believe that a good correspondence can reveal much about a person, email and phone calls can be a great way of allowing something to grow organically; You can discover if your partner is a good communicator during a time of living apart. Sex, infatuation, while wonderful and exhilirating, can sometimes cloud how we feel about a person, (giving a false sense of intimacy).

Oh, I digress---what I was saying before...go for it! Have a great time, know that he will be stressed out, and I hope that he is in a kinder specialty...not surgery! Allow things to flow, don't push but at the same time---and I wish that someone had told me this---take care of you, your needs, and I hope that you both make it a priority to nurture your relationship.

Good luck to you