Should I Wait for Him

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Should I Wait for Him
4
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 5:23pm
I have been with my boyfried for one year now. We moved things along quite quickly in the last year. We met shortly after his divorce and a year into mine. I have two kids and he has two kids. The beginning of the relationship was great as it always is but he wasn't sure at first if he was ready to be in a relationship and broke up with me. Then not even a day later called me to tell me he made a mistake. We got even closer. Then he thought we should move in together, but had a panic attack and went missing for a night and came back and said he needed time to think and knows that he is completely committed to this relationship, we were great. 4 months of living together and he starts looking for houses and we get on the same checking accout. Then out of no where he tells me that he decides he can't handle my kids and doesn't know if he can do this anymore. Merging two families is hard and takes alot of patience and work. We talked it out and decided to see each other, but take some time. I agreed. I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. Should I just walk away, but I love him so much. I know he said it was my kids, but I haven't heard from him in a week. Is this man just playing me for a big fool. I had a bad marriage and so did he (both our spouses cheated on us) and I know that did alot to us and how we handle our relationship (trust, commitment, etc....)Please respond and tell me what you think.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 5:28pm
I don't think he's deliberately playing you for a fool...but I do think he got involved with you way too soon after his divorce, and now you're paying the price.

If he does come back, I would insist on couples counseling, and strongly suggest that he do individual counseling as well. In the meantime, you might look into individual counseling yourself.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 6:09pm
Why did your boyfriend think it was a good idea to move in together when you have 4 children between the two of you? Why not have separate households and date each other?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:42am
take it slower. live in two different homes. date . bring the kids together once in a while. and take it slow way slower.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 10:17am
I agree we should have taken this a lot slower. Its like they say hind sight is 20/20. Maybe alot had to do with the fact we were use to being in a committed relationship so it just seemed natural. We should have never involved the kids so early in the relationship either.