should we be together????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2001
should we be together????
2
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 5:13pm
Hi, I have a boyfriend that I have been going with for almost 3 yrs. We 1st met on the internet while I was in Tx. and he in Ca. 4 months after being in love on the net, i moved to cali. I quickly saw that this guy is jealous, and possesive, and fights with me all the time. I live with him for a year and a half. one day after him fighting with me over a guy being cute on TV, I left him and went back to tx. Now, that was a year ago. It is now long distance and we still fight. He loves me very much and I love him very much. but, he picks fights with me about stupid stuff. he constantly wants me to be totally focused on him. a month ago, we went to lake tahoe, and i was amazed with the views out the window. i could feel him and his bad energy on the othe side of the car. he got mad at me because he said that i was more interested in what was outside than what WE were doing... huh? ANYWAY, now he insists that the reason we have problems is because we are so far apart. He wants to move to be with me in texas, but im scared, i dont want to fight. I am 33 yrs old, and i dont have kids yet. sigh... he is 37. i dont want to waste anymore time. Im in love with him, but i cannot fight about my being quiet, or something he thinks is going on... blah blah blah.

Ther is a plus side, he communicates, loves me, think im beautiful, and gives the warmest 'hugs.

HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 5:23pm
Only you can know for yourself if someone is right for you or not. From what you described, it doesn't sound like he is. Everyone has good points, but the basic things it takes for 2 people to be a good match don't seem to be present between you. In order for someone to be right for you, you have to both be happy and content with one another AS IS and want, need and prioritize the same things. Fighting all the time and trying to change or control the other person makes for one miserable relationship. I'd stay put and look for someone closer to home. Don't settle, that's the best advice I can give. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2001
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 5:44pm
boobeetrap, thank you for your response. im really having a hard time with this.

i'm scared if i let him go ill kiss off the only guy that really ever loved me. i just wish he was secure. and i wish he didnt analize every casual thing i say or talk about.. thinking its some sign that i dont trully love him. or if there is someone on tv that is deseetfull (spelling?) he starts looking at me weird. and it makes him more insecure.

anyway, thank you.