Should we try again? Need help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Should we try again? Need help!!
2
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 4:00am

OK, I am so confused and upset and just numb to all emotions that I don't know what to do anymore. My boyfriend and I were together for 12 months and I found out that he was still having a relationship with his "ex." (I checked his phone bill and saw that he was talking with her at least 5 times per day.) I asked him about it and he finally admitted everything (but throughout our relationship he always lied and said they didn't talk)... He hadn't trusted me (and I was completely committed, no reason not to trust me) so he had kept a relationship with her. He didn't tell her he had a girlfriend even though, when I ever questioned his commitment, he would tell me he didn't talk to any other girl because he was so in love with me. He specifically told me he had no relationship with her and no feelings.

Well, it turns out when we broke up one time (6 months ago) he had asked her to move back in with him but then after two days he told her it wouldn't work and we got back together. He never told me this until now. Then when we had worked things out and told each other how much we loved each other he went to "visit his dad" for the weekend (2 months after our first breakup). He actually visited her. He was talking to her up until I confronted him last week. He thought I was going to break up with him and I was. I never was so hurt in my life. He told me he would give her up if I told him I'd marry him and I said I would if he'd give her up. So he told her about us and she got upset. Now he wants to get back together and get married.

This all happened about 4 days ago and I tried to be back with him but I feel like my feelings of love are gone. I always loved him, the whole year, I fell in love with him so fast and he always told me how much he loved me and that I was the only one. Now he says "I'm a changed person because I want you" and that I'm the only one he ever wanted, despite what it looks like but I just can't stop thinking about what he did. I want our old relationship back but I feel like it was all a lie since he lied to me nonstop and never really was commited. I feel like he is two different people: The one I fell in love with and the person (the cheater and liar) he really is. So should I try again? Should I believe he'll change? Can I get over the lies and move on? Or should I just forget it? He is telling me now that he regrets all the mistakes he made and can't live without me but then why couldn't he give up his ex a year ago when he should have? He really did tell her that he really wants me so I know that he did make that change but I feel like he may have hurt me so much that I won't be able to forgive him. All my friends say that I should just move on but something is making me unsure. I never felt that kind of love that I felt for him but now I feel more numb than anything else. I have never cried so much or felt so hurt. I have never been lied to like this. Please some advice... I need an objective veiwpoint. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 10:07am

You don't need a guy like this.


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 9:15pm

'I feel like my feelings of love are gone.'

Good. Kick this loser to the curb. He isn't trustworthy and isn't worth your time. He hasn't changed.