Should we try to work it out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Should we try to work it out?
1
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 11:10am
I've been in a relationship with a guy for about six years on and off. We broke up for awhile due to long distance but we moved back to the same city six months ago and have been together ever since. I broke up with him last night and I feel like we made a mistake. I feel like we don't work on our relationship enough and when the going gets tough we think the easiest thing to do is break up when in reality it's the worst thing. He said to me, "things aren't the same anymore." But are they ever? I always try to communicate with him about our problems but we never do anything to fix them. I love him with all my heart and I know that he feels the same way but I'm really confused about what's going on right now. Just recently he was telling me that we need to start looking for property to buy to build a house on. I'm going to talk to him tonight about all this and tell him that I think we're giving up too easily and that all relationships have ups and downs and we need to learn how to work through them.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can communicate this to him so he'll realize that relationships aren't always easy and that there are things we can do to make it better?

Also, does anyone have any suggestions on ways we can communicating better?

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 3:19pm
Here are some reading suggestions:

Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw

A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman

His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix

Maybe even invest in a few counseling sessions to make sure the two of you are on the same page as far as expectations go.


Carrie